How to Survive as an Uchiha

Strictly speaking, Tobirama was not the founder of Konoha's system—he was the founder of the ninja village era.

Aside from the Police Force he created specifically for the Uchiha clan, the organizational structures he established in Konoha were widely copied by the other four major ninja villages, adapted to their own needs.

Kiri copied the least, but they directly replicated the ANBU and the Ninja Academy.

Unlike Konoha, which later divided the ANBU into different functional departments, Kiri's ANBU remained in its original form. They had three primary tasks: assassinate those the Mizukage disliked, collect intelligence for the Mizukage, and openly follow the Mizukage to kill people.

The night in Kiri was damp, with moisture in the air. The city's nighttime was more terrifying than the day. There weren't even streetlights on the roads, and ordinary people had to rely on faint starlight to find their way.

Any sudden sound could easily startle someone.

This was why no ordinary people would wander around Kiri at night.

Masashi moved through the dark night, dressed in a knock-off ANBU uniform.

During the day, when he and the Mizukage locked eyes as the latter was leaving, they had come to a tacit understanding.

Visual genjutsu could accomplish many things—it wasn't limited to combat.

As he approached the Mizukage building, a figure suddenly appeared.

"Password!" The figure was a Kiri ANBU. He immediately noticed at least ten flaws in Masashi's disguise.

In the past, he would have immediately shouted, "Intruder!" But tonight was different; orders from the Mizukage required him to wait.

"Baby Turtle Doo Doo Doo." Masashi spoke with complete seriousness, face perfectly straight as he recited the password he and Yagura had agreed upon in the genjutsu.

The ANBU stiffened. Years of training had prepared him for many things, but not this. His hand twitched slightly before he responded, clearly struggling to maintain his professional demeanor.

"Mommy Turtle Doo Doo Doo," the ANBU replied. Then, with mechanical precision that showed of hours of reluctant practice, he performed three small sways, each synchronized with the "doo."

Masashi kept his face neutral, but internally he was quite pleased. This had been his suggestion to Yagura—a password system so embarrassing that no spy would ever think it was real.

The fact that it forced the elite ANBU to do the little dance was just a bonus.

"You may call me Zero," the ANBU said quickly, clearly eager to move past the moment. Even through his mask, his discomfort was visible.

If someone had given the wrong password or failed to complete the dance moves exactly as specified, they would have been marked as an impostor. After all, only someone truly authorized would have been forced to learn this humiliating routine.

"Where is the Mizukage?"

"Same place as usual. Don't go into the building; use the walls."

After exchanging information, Zero quickly disappeared using the Body Flicker.

Masashi smiled and vanished from the spot.

Climb the walls? Walls weren't for climbing; they were for support.

Appearing on the rooftop, Masashi saw Yagura, who was also dressed in black.

This was ridiculous—Yagura was wearing a knock-off version of Konoha's ANBU uniform. Masashi also immediately noticed at least ten flaws in Yagura's outfit.

"Mizukage-sama, what's with this getup?"

"Being cautious is always a good thing." Yagura looked at Masashi's attire and winced. "Where did you get that uniform? Ours were updated back in the Third Mizukage's era."

"Your outfit is outdated too, Mizukage-sama…"

The two fell into a brief silence. After a moment, Yagura spoke first.

"Do you have uniforms from the other villages?"

"Yes…"

"Lend me one. I'll return it when we're done."

"No need—I'll gift you a full set of custom-made ninja village uniforms, including ones from small villages and defunct organizations. No one will be able to verify them."

"You're too generous. I feel bad about making you spend so much."

"We're allies—no need for formalities."

Masashi pulled out a scroll and tossed it to Yagura.

The Mizukage caught it and tucked it away with satisfaction. He felt he had found the right person—such professionalism.

"Follow me," Yagura said, leaping off the roof and disappearing into the darkness.

Masashi activated his Sharingan and followed.

The two quickly moved beyond the Mizukage building's vicinity. Yagura, as the biggest "boss" in Kiri, was extremely familiar with the village's streets, alleys, watchpoints, and patrol routes. Their journey was safe and smooth.

Yagura turned into a narrow alley and knocked on the door of a small, low house in a specific rhythm.

The door creaked open, and a middle-aged man stood in the doorway. He did not immediately step aside when he saw Yagura; his gaze turned to Masashi behind him.

"He's one of us," Yagura said.

The middle-aged man finally moved aside.

The door was small, and Masashi had to duck slightly to enter.

The interior was old and worn. The middle-aged man went into another room and returned with a young boy.

Yagura removed his mask. The boy, upon seeing his face, showed a faint look of joy.

"Masashi, this child is Haku," Yagura said, patting the boy's head.

The boy glanced at Masashi and, frightened, hid behind Yagura.

Masashi removed his mask.

"Hello, Haku," he said kindly.

"H-hello…"

Seeing the distrust in the boy's eyes, Masashi didn't mind. He had seen such expressions many times before.

What surprised him was Haku's apparent trust in Yagura.

"You're pretty good with kids, Mizukage-sama."

"I had more time back then to stay home and be with my son," Yagura said nostalgically. "Masashi, are you married?"

"No."

"You should marry early and have children—otherwise, you'll regret it."

We're here to plot assassinations, and you're telling me to get married?

Masashi ignored that comment and asked, "Did you bring me here just to see this child?"

"This place is safer," Yagura explained. "Masashi, I need to confirm again—do you and Shisui agree to my previous conditions?"

"Yes, in principle. After everything is over, we'll report back to the Hokage and formalize the agreement."

"There's no need to trouble yourselves. Once this is over, I'll accompany you to Konoha and sign the agreement with the Hokage personally," Yagura said, satisfied. "As a fellow Fourth, I haven't yet met the Hokage."

Masashi considered this. It was a bit sudden, but it demonstrated their sincerity.

"Generous of you, Mizukage-sama." He gave a thumbs-up.

"It's you who are efficient and decisive. I look forward to our cooperation."

"When and how do we act?"

"The time remains the same—two days from now," Yagura replied. "That day, I'll invite you and Shisui to further discuss the agreement, with key members of the Hōzuki clan and their allies present."

"Will we act during the meeting?"

"No—we'll act against your clansman first," Yagura said, shaking his head. "Your clansman, disguised as 'Tobi,' has been appointed as the ANBU leader and holds control of the Mizukage Guards. The Hōzuki clan plans to expose that I'm being controlled and will attack him and the forces under his control."

"You seem well-informed about their plan."

"The Hōzuki clan's goal is to become the ruling Mizukage family. Even in a rebellion, they wouldn't directly attack the Mizukage. Go back now, Masashi—don't let them discover you're missing."

"Don't worry, Hikari will cover for me."

"Good. Do you want to speak to this child?" Yagura asked, glancing at Haku.

Hearing his sister's name, Haku looked at Masashi curiously.

"It's not the time yet. After this is done… but…" Masashi walked up to Haku, crouched down, and extended his hand. "Haku, can we shake hands?"

Haku looked at Masashi, hesitated, and placed his small hand in Masashi's palm.

"Do you know my sister?" he asked.

"Yes, I do. We're good friends," Masashi replied with a smile, then stood up and withdrew his hand.

He nodded at Yagura, connected to the Flying Thunder God Seal on his clone at the inn, and activated the jutsu to leave.

The scenery changed, and Masashi realized he was now lying on a bed.

What was even more outrageous was that Hikari was also on the bed. She was clinging to him naked, blinking her eyes and staring directly into his.

Masashi was dumbfounded. What kind of absurd plot was this?

Why was he lying in bed with Hikari like this?

Did his shadow clone seriously sneak away?

The next moment, the memories of the shadow clone came rushing back, and he understood.

Knock, knock…

A voice came again from outside the door. "Masashi-sama, are you ready yet?"

Hearing this voice, Hikari instinctively hugged him a little tighter.

You're butt-naked right now, tone it down a bit!

"I'm sorry, Masashi-sama, this matter is urgent, so I'll have to come in first." The sound of the doorknob turning rang out.

At that moment, Masashi swiftly wiped his hand over himself.

Flying Thunder God activated, and his clothes disappeared entirely as well.

Perfect. Now they were both naked.

Then he pulled the blanket over, tightly covering both of their bodies.

The door opened, and a member of the Hōzuki clan, whom he'd seen at the banquet, poked half of his body into the room. Seeing the two of them tightly wrapped up on the bed, he immediately turned back to the hallway and said, "I'll be waiting outside."

"But please hurry! The elders have something very important and urgent to discuss. Could you meet with them now?"

"Is it really that urgent?" Masashi responded with the perfect attitude of someone reluctant to leave bed. "Can't it wait until tomorrow?"

Under the blanket, his hand moved slightly, making the blanket visibly wriggle.

In reality, he was just patting Hikari's arm, trusting that the girl would get the hint.

The clever girl let out a soft whimpering sound.

Nice! Great teamwork!

"I'm really sorry, but the elders are very anxious. Tomorrow would be too late."

"Alright, I understand. I'll get up now. Wait for me to change my clothes."

"Understood." The Hōzuki clansman bowed slightly, pulled his body back out, and shut the door.

Their actions were entirely within Yagura's predictions. The Hōzuki clan was doomed.

He got out of bed. Out of consideration for his partner, he didn't fling the blanket off with a swift kick like he normally would.

He even helped Hikari pull the blanket back up to cover herself properly.

Then he entered the wardrobe room and changed back into his standard Konoha shinobi uniform.

When he came back out, Hikari was sitting on the bed wrapped in the blanket, looking at him.

Masashi made a "quiet" gesture to her, then walked over, leaned down, and whispered into her ear: "Just pretend to be asleep. Don't make a sound until I'm back."

Hikari nodded obediently and lay back down on the bed.

He gave her a thumbs-up, turned around, and walked to the door to unlock it.

The Hōzuki clansman was standing outside, accompanied by several others.

"Where's the room key?" Masashi asked.

The Hōzuki clansman handed it over, and Masashi took it, locking the door behind him.

"How many keys are there?" he asked.

"There are three. Don't worry, Masashi-sama. No one will enter without your permission."

"You came in just now. Collect all the keys later and hand them to me—this is a matter of principle."

"Understood. Rest assured." The Hōzuki clansman felt relieved. I didn't expect the White Ghost to be so lustful and possessive. This is perfect.

Hikari wasn't even the best. Among their allies, they had no shortage of women.

In Kiri, there were far too many ninja clans, and women outnumber men significantly. As a result, each clan had an abundance of unmarried daughters who couldn't marry non-shinobi. Every arranged marriage became a kind of war.

The grooms' families were also under great pressure because choosing among so many options was overwhelming.

Such matters were too complex to manage individually.

Thus, arranged marriages between ninja clans had become a refined art. The clans excelled at precisely identifying matches, perfectly balancing family needs and personal preferences.

In this regard, they were professionals.

The Hōzuki clansman thought his sister would actually be a good fit. Maybe he could arrange a dinner meeting later.

"Go collect all the keys. Don't leave a single one. Also, no one is allowed to approach this room while Masashi-sama is away. Violators will be severely punished under clan rules. These are the elders' orders." The Hōzuki clansman instructed his subordinates, then turned back to Masashi enthusiastically. "Masashi-sama, please follow me."

"Thank you for the trouble."

Following the Hōzuki clansman, Masashi wound his way through the halls and entered a small room.

The room wasn't big, and the lighting was dim. Luxurious animal pelts were nailed across the walls and ceiling, layered thickly on the floor like the most expensive carpet, soft like a bed. There wasn't much furniture—just a round table in the center, with a few people already seated.

"Masashi, you're here." Ketsuki waved from his seat with a grin. "I apologize for disturbing you so late, but time is tight, and we must discuss this."

"Ketsuki-sama, staying up late is bad for your health." Masashi walked over and sat in a chair. "Isn't Shisui here again this time?"

"Your clan brother seems quite conservative and likely wouldn't want to join our plan. So this time, we didn't invite him."

"Oh? I've already taken care of that. Shisui will act with me. In that case, please notify him to join us."

Ketsuki's eyes brightened. He turned to the Hōzuki clansman at the door.

"Quickly, invite the Teleporter over as well."

After the clansman hurried off, Ketsuki turned back, smiling. "The Mizukage—no, Yagura—has confirmed the final version of the agreement. This agreement was orchestrated by your clansman, aiming to sabotage the renewal and destroy relations between Kiri and Konoha. We've all agreed that we'll expose your clansman's identity."

"Arrest him on the spot?" Masashi rubbed his chin, as if deep in thought. "At such an occasion, Kiri's higher-ups will all be there, right?"

"Yes, even that old man Genji will be there, along with the current inheritors of the Seven Ninja Swords. With you and Shisui, even if the enemy controls Yagura, they won't stand a chance. Of course, I personally recommend that you kill the traitor on the spot."

Kill him?

Masashi shook his head. Seeing Ketsuki's puzzled expression, he said, "Every clan has its rules. A traitor to the Uchiha must be judged at a clan meeting."

"The Uchiha clan's discipline is truly admirable," Ketsuki sighed with a hint of envy. Their younger generation was unruly and often disobedient.

"Then let's finalize the plan when Shisui arrives. What do you say?"

"Of course. The sooner we finalize it, the sooner we prepare. Just one thing." Masashi said, "Although he's a traitor, this is an internal matter for the Uchiha clan. It's not appropriate for others to take action. I hope you understand."

"Absolutely. Rest assured. We will only deal with Yagura and the others."

Masashi nodded, looking satisfied. They're beyond saving. Arrogant to this extent, this clan is really doomed.

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