Harry Potter: The Witty Wizard

As Ted spoke Harry's smile grew wider and wider. By the time he finished, Harry was grinning. "Thank you, Mister Tonks. I'd appreciate that. Please work out with Sirius your retainer and another of your first jobs for me will be seeing you get automatically paid that direct from Gringotts right from the start."

As the others talked, Ted pulled out blank parchment and an ever-full quill and began writing up the authorisation form for Harry to sign.

"I'm glad you're considering private tutors, Pup," Sirius quietly said as Ted worked. "You being in the same place as Dumbledore..."

"Yeah," he returned.

"Oh!" Sirius suddenly but softly exclaimed. "Ted figured out what your strategy is, regarding me possibly being charged for having my enchanted motorcycle. I think it's brilliant! Ted does, too!"

"Well, if you've figured that much out," grinned Harry. "Then I need you to track down the purchase documents and ownership papers for it, if you know where you can lay your hands on them. I trust you actually bought it?"

"Of course!" Sirius huffed, slightly offended. "It cost me a great deal of the entire year's worth of my then allowance to buy it, too!"

_‗_

―==(oIo)==―

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Late in the day, an Unspeakable walked into Scimitar's team 'bullpen' and handed him a short report before walking out.

Reading it, he frowned and said to the others, "White Beard tried to kidnap the young knight with an auto-portkey, this morning. His house elf caught it in time and avoided the young knight from being abducted. Monocle's been informed and acted. The watchers didn't need to intervene."

"Stupid old git," muttered one. "Is he trying to get himself tossed through the Veil?"

_‗_

―==(oIo)==―

ˇ

When Wendell and Monica arrived home, Hermione once again had to leave the office. When her daughter looked annoyed, Monica said, "Come on, Hermione. Let the menfolk have their super-secret men's business while we ladies talk."

When she saw the looks that passed between her mother and father, she misunderstood the reason and assumed it was because of her accidental somewhat 'semi' nudity of that morning in front of her boyfriend.

With a quiet sigh she rose from the chair she'd been sitting on and followed her mother out.

They went to the dinette, where Dobby seemed to have anticipated their needs and had a serving of tea waiting for them.

Though somewhat reluctant to sit, Hermione did so. She knew she'd not be escaping this conversation.

"How was your day?" Monica immediately asked, picking up the small jug of milk for her tea - no sugar, of course.

Knowing her mother's usual 'circle the problem before addressing it' style, Hermione was having none of it, this time.

"Once Harry and I talked about the fact he'd seen my tits through my top, this morning... pretty good," she replied.

Monica gave her that 'mother' look and said, "There's no need to be crude, dear."

"Sorry," Hermione blushed and looked down, as she added her own milk to her tea.

Picking up her own teaspoon she began to stir it, "I just didn't want us avoiding the elephant in the room until you felt we were both comfortable talking about it."

Monica sighed while slowly stirring her own tea. She then used the time of lifting the cup to her lips and talking a sip to think about how to go from here.

"You deeply embarrassed him," she simply said. "And, angered your father when he figured out what happened."

"I... reacted without thinking it through," said Hermione. "I heard the shouting downstairs, thought we might have been under attack or something, grabbed my wand and ran down.

"I didn't stop to think about what I was wearing because, this time of year at Hogwarts, I'm usually wearing something less... transparent."

"I figured as much," her mother nodded. "And I've been thinking about how to stop it from happening, in future."

"I'm not going to be hot in bed just―"

"I'm not saying you should start wearing something else to bed," Monica quickly cut in.

When it looked like her daughter was going to hear her out, she said, "I want you to start getting into the habit of hanging your dressing gown on the hook on the back of your bedroom door.

"Seeing it there as you think of leaving your room should be enough to have you reminded you need to don it before leaving your room."

Surprised at the simple idea, Hermione could only say, "That's actually a good idea. I'd not considered that."

"I am capable of them," her mother wryly returned.

Lightly blushing again, her daughter said, "Sorry. Being surrounded by 'daft morons', as Harry would say, in Gryffindor Tower day in and day out has left me rather jaded about the intelligence of those I'm normally associating with."

Monica nodded and then immediately flipped straight to the next point. "What did Harry say to you when you spoke to him about it? I take it you apologised to him?"

Hermione gave a snort of remembered amusement and said, "He thought he'd done the wrong thing."

"I know."

"It took me ages to convince him he'd done nothing wrong."

"I'm not surprised."

"He was embarrassed, yes; but, not for himself," she explained. "He was embarrassed for me."

"I figured as much."

"While I've come to understand he's a great deal more intelligent than I'd been thinking he was for the past three years, when it comes to a woman's body he's utterly clueless!" she continued.

"What do you mean?"

"Well, in order to get him past his embarrassment of what happened," explained Hermione, "I talked to him about the make up of a woman's breasts. You know, the biology behind them. I had him start thinking of them and how they relate to their function, rather than as sex objects."

Monica was surprised by the concept and sat back in contemplation of what her daughter had said. 'Clever girl,' she thought.

"What made you think of going that route?" she asked, curious.

"When I finally got him talking to me... instead of being so tongue-tied he couldn't get a word out... he said, 'But, I saw your darker bits'."

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