Grab the Regressor by the Collar and Debut!

Chapter 347. Admiration and Salvation (6)

“I mean, I just wondered. You always have that look on your face when you see Joo Eunchan, like there’s a tragic backstory or something… Ah, hot, hot, hot!”

“You’re really something, you know that?”

Kang Hajin was teasing outright. Everything about him grated on Dan Haru’s nerves—the way he pressed his buttons with that cheeky, ‘Oh well, never mind’ attitude, and how he shoved the hot cheese bread into his mouth, yelping at the heat, yet still causing a scene.

But Haru knew this was all part of Hajin’s approach. He was trying to get Haru to talk by annoying him enough. Haru was well aware of that tactic.

So, Haru clamped his mouth shut. He had a strong feeling that nothing good would come of engaging in conversation with Kang Hajin.

“Hmmm…”

As expected, Hajin raised an eyebrow, surprised by Haru’s silence, making a low hum of interest. Haru, sensing that Hajin was trying to provoke him further, clamped down harder, determined to remain silent.

But Hajin wasn’t deterred.

“You care more about others than you let on, huh?”

With Haru saying nothing, Hajin started talking to himself, eating the last of the cheese bread and tossing the stick into the trash. His voice remained light and playful as he continued.

“I knew you blamed yourself for Eunchan’s social anxiety and panic disorder because of your regression. But it seems you feel even more guilty than I thought.”

“……”

“If that’s the case, shouldn’t you feel more sorry for Taehyun? He lost his livelihood because of you in one timeline. He’s doing well now, so maybe it bothers you less? But it’s not like Eunchan is any different—he’s shy, but he’s not having full-blown panic attacks right now…”

“……”

“Your logic is hard to follow.”

Hajin’s laid-back posture, resting his chin on his hand with an obnoxious smirk, was the last straw. But Haru bit the inside of his cheek and refused to speak.

Hajin seemed to be enjoying Haru’s resistance, lounging even more comfortably as he spoke again, this time more provocatively.

“Is your desire to stop living as Dan Haru because you want to escape the guilt? Is it that hard to face those feelings? Man, you’re a real avoidant type.”

“……”

“But then, why doesn’t that guilt apply to me? You know, I’ve had to enlist three times because of you. If anyone deserves an apology for your regressions, it’s me, don’t you think?”

“…Aren’t you worried someone might overhear you talking like this?”

Hajin finally got Haru to speak. His words hit too close to home, and Haru was irritated by how Hajin seemed to always know just where to poke. Haru’s voice was laced with frustration as he spoke, simply wanting to shut Hajin up.

Hajin, of course, just waved his hand dismissively, like it was no big deal.

“You’re just noticing that now? Don’t worry, to everyone else, it sounds like I’m debating what to eat for dinner.”

Hajin added something about how it was a new feature, developed after an argument with Ji Suho, but Haru didn’t ask for further explanation. Instead, he asked something else.

“Why do you even care? Is this your natural tendency to butt into things?”

Finally, Hajin stopped talking. His annoying gaze, daring Haru to say more, was infuriating, but once Haru started, the rest of his words flowed out uncontrollably.

“Save that nosiness for your group. Once the real Haru comes back in three months, I’ll either get absorbed or erased, whatever. Either way, I’m done with this annoying world.”

“…You’re sick of it?”

“Don’t you find it exhausting?”

Haru’s lips twisted into a bitter smile, his voice dripping with sarcasm.

“I’ve regressed every time Haru’s been abandoned by the world. So many times that I’ve lost count.”

“……”

“Without parents, people look down on you for not understanding things. With parents, they envy you for being loved. And the thing is, Haru was always the same, no matter what.”

Recalling the world’s hypocrisy and pretense, Haru continued.

“Yeah, I’m the one who made Joo Eunchan and Seo Taehyun miserable. I ran away because I was scared of dying, and then I dumped everything on Haru because I was scared to live through death.”

“……”

“So don’t expect anything from someone like me. You don’t care, anyway…”

“……”

“You don’t care. It’d be better for you, too, if I just disappeared and left Haru in my place.”

Haru had one certainty.

Kang Hajin cared about Haru, not him.

The only reason he could endure seeing the faces of the members every day, knowing he’d nearly ruined their lives, was the thought that everything would end in three months.

Once Haru returned, Hajin, the members, and the fans would all love and cherish him without reserve.

None of this was meant for Haru. Dan Haru had already let go of his identity a long time ago, merely enduring the time left in someone else’s life.

Haru’s goal was simple: get through these three months without messing anything up.

That’s why he resented Kang Hajin for constantly trying to pull something out of him.

“…You know.”

Hajin, who had been silent for a while, spoke again.

“I’ve been hearing that a lot lately. ‘I don’t matter anyway…’”

“……”

“Yugeon said it. Siwoo said it. Heck, I even said it to myself, a long time ago.”

Hajin squinted, as if recalling something from the past. Turning to look at Eunchan, who was still chatting with a staff member while holding his hot dog, Hajin continued.

“After hearing it a few times, I started to get it.”

“……”

“It’s a signal. A signal that you want someone to tell you that you do matter.”

With those words, Hajin stood up, tossing the trash into the bin and grabbing the rest of Haru’s cold chicken bites. He grinned at Haru, who had eaten half of them out of sheer stubbornness, and popped the rest into his mouth.

After quickly chewing and swallowing, Hajin looked down at Haru, who remained seated.

“Well, whatever. I’m not here to give you some grand motivational speech.”

“……”

“For me, your regressions were an opportunity.”

At those unexpected words, Haru looked up. Hajin, unbothered, continued with his usual blunt honesty.

“Thanks to you, I achieved my dreams. So, wouldn’t it be ungrateful of me to just sit back and do nothing?”

With that, Hajin turned around and walked off towards Joo Eunchan without looking back.

Haru watched him in silence, remembering the first time they’d met.

—”Is this nosy of me? It just seemed like something you couldn’t talk to the others about.”

Hajin was the only person who had ever extended a hand to him.

The man who had made the impossible, possible.

The man who had fixed everything Haru thought he had ruined.

The only adult who had stepped into Haru’s world.

Now, that man was saying he’d gained something from Haru’s regressions.

“……”

Haru felt a strange sensation creeping up from the ground, filling his body.

It was as if something deep inside him was stirring, trying to rise up from his throat. It wasn’t nausea—it was something else. But Haru, who hadn’t cried in so long, didn’t recognize that it was the urge to weep.

“Haru, let’s go. They said we’re moving to the next area.”

Joo Eunchan had finished his hot dog and approached Haru, holding the oversized balloon in one hand. He leaned down to meet Haru’s eyes and asked.

“Did you cry?”

“No, I didn’t.”

Eunchan, who had a unique knack for reading Haru’s emotions, smiled gently and nodded as if he understood. Haru, suddenly aware that he might actually want to cry, shook his head on instinct, denying it.

Eunchan’s kind smile didn’t falter.

“Maybe your eyes are dry. I’ll ask the stylist nuna for some eye drops.”

“……”

“Let’s go, Haru.”

Eunchan extended his hand to Haru without a second thought.

Even though Eunchan had been the one who got lost earlier, his gesture was like that of a responsible older brother, holding his sibling’s hand tightly in a crowded amusement park.

Haru reached out and took his hand without thinking.

“Hyung, I brought Haru.”

“Good job. Let’s move.”

Kang Hajin, who glanced at Haru holding Eunchan’s hand, said nothing as they began walking.

The park was getting busier as the afternoon approached, with more people milling about. The manager and security staff cleared a path, while Hajin led the group, making sure there was enough space for them to move. Eunchan followed closely behind, holding Haru’s hand tightly to ensure he wouldn’t get lost again.

“Hey, why are you heading this way?”

“The course goes this way. How about you? How many invitations did you collect?”

“We’ve got about 70 now. Just need to hit a few more spots in the afternoon. Siwoo hyung’s been handling the rides surprisingly well.”

As they walked, Hajin spotted Taehyun

and Siwoo, who were on their way to a different part of the park. Smiling, Hajin greeted them enthusiastically, striking up a conversation.

Meanwhile, Siwoo, sporting a pair of ridiculous alien sunglasses and fairy wings, came over to Haru and Eunchan.

“Hey, you two.”

Siwoo’s voice rang with pleasant warmth as he smiled at them. He pulled off the alien sunglasses and tucked them into his shirt collar, then affectionately tapped the balloon tied to Haru’s wrist.

“Cute.”

“Hyung bought it for me. I told him I didn’t need it…”

“It’s great—people can spot you from far away.”

Siwoo’s response was cool and casual. Then, turning his gaze to Haru, he asked in a gentle voice, like an older brother doting on his younger sibling.

“Haru, another bucket list item checked off?”

“…What?”

“You told me before, didn’t you? That you wanted to ride roller coasters at an amusement park with the hyungs. So, I gave you some good courses today.”

It was probably something *that* Haru had said, not him.

But Haru nodded and smiled out of habit.

“Yes, it’s fun. …I want to come back.”

“Really? Then we’ll have to come again.”

Haru felt his stomach churn.

The words *I want to come back* left an odd taste in his mouth.

But Haru forced himself to ignore the feeling. Meanwhile, Yugeon and Doha had joined the group from the other side of the park, both looking exhausted despite only riding the carousel and bumper cars. Yugeon was whining to Taehyun and Hajin, while Doha, still pale, approached Haru and Eunchan quietly. After exchanging a brief glance with Siwoo, Doha gave Haru a sideways glance.

Sensing it, Haru quickly looked away.

Doha said nothing and simply handed something to Eunchan.

“Huh? What’s this, hyung?”

“Egg mayo sandwich. I got it from a mini-mission. Share it with Haru.”

“Oh, thanks, hyung. Haru, you like this, right? Want to eat now or after a few more rides?”

Eunchan turned to Haru, confirming that it was his favorite egg mayo sandwich. Noticing everyone’s attention on him, Haru hesitated before looking up. He met Doha’s gaze, which was as calm and steady as ever.

Doha asked in his usual quiet tone, “Your taste hasn’t changed, right?”

Knowing what Doha meant—that he was aware of the difference between *this* Haru and the *other*—Haru hesitated for a moment before nodding.

Satisfied, Doha gave a small nod and walked back toward Yugeon.

“Haru, should we eat the sandwich later?”

When Haru didn’t answer, Eunchan patiently asked again, his voice gentle. Haru snapped out of his thoughts and replied.

“Oh… Yeah, let’s eat later. I don’t want to feel sick after the rides.”

“Alright. Just let me know if you get hungry, okay?”

“Yeah.”

Despite being only a year older, Eunchan hovered over Haru like a mother bird. Haru fell silent again, feeling that same unsettled sensation deep inside. It felt like something within him was taking form, something he wanted to ignore.

And yet, no matter how much he tried to push it down, the words finally took shape in his mind.

*…I envy Haru.*

It was the feeling of desiring something he knew he should never want.