Genshin Impact's Incense Burner Of Liyue.

The person you've longed for day and night, the one you'd give all your love to without hesitation?

Gu Sanqiu's expression turned complicated. If such a person truly existed for him, it would undoubtedly be none other than the representative of the Tenryou Commission.

That said, this person seemed to have an inexplicable fixation on dueling Kujou Sara. Not just any duel, but a bizarre suggestion for a "sumo match," boldly written on the public notice board for all to see.

You're not just a steel-hearted straight man—you're a cosmic-grade alloy straight man! Truly unprecedented!

Sumo with a woman?

If not for Hanamizaka's reputation for harboring knuckleheads, such a proclamation on the notice board would have been erased by the authorities long ago.

Gu Sanqiu suspected that this odd spectacle might have some connection to Kujou Sara's political rivals. After all, in the world of political intrigue, no tactic is off the table.

Taking a step back to consider…

Even if you want to "work up a sweat" with her, couldn't you pick a different format and venue? And for Archons' sake, bring it up privately, you idiot!

How could you even think of something like this?

Is this the sort of thing fit for children to see?

Is this the kind of material to let the citizens of Inazuma City feast their eyes on?

Minors, get out of here!

This conversation is not suitable for children!

Ahem. Asking on behalf of my friend Xingqiu.

However, all the above scenarios were purely Gu Sanqiu's mental exaggerations. In reality, their official relationship boiled down to that of a police officer and a law-breaking rogue.

This wasn't some romantic drama. The probability of love blossoming during a chase was infinitesimally small.

Honestly, believing Arataki Itto could fall in love with Kujou Sara was less plausible than imagining a die-hard Raiden Shogun fangirl losing control and flipping the script on the introverted goddess herself.

Now, that would be an interesting story (struck-through).

To put it accurately, such a plot would at least make a bit more sense. All that so-called admiration, respect, and fervor—they could all transform into fuel for burning desire, the purest form of motivation!

After all, every fan has the potential to become a rabid fanatic.

"Stop thinking about it," Gu Sanqiu said, dousing their thoughts with cold water. "Instead of wondering when someone will love you, maybe focus on your livelihood for now."

"If you keep living like this, you should think about improving yourself. After all, only when you're strong can you even begin to think about other things."

"Sure, the saying goes 'love conquers all,' but would you really subject someone you love to that kind of life?"

"As for me, if I ever found myself in such a situation, I'd fight tooth and nail, even if the odds of success were slim. I'd risk everything—even death—before giving up."

While everyone has the freedom to live as they choose, Success Coach Gu Sanqiu was on a mission to inspire a group of aimless young souls.

"Sir Samurai—no, Boss—if you were to die in the process, wouldn't your loved one be even more devastated?"

That heartfelt "Boss" came with genuine sincerity because, in their eyes, Gu Sanqiu had now earned the title of "Love Guru."

"You're absolutely right," he acknowledged. "But if you ever face such a situation, you'd find yourself doubting, lamenting, and despising your weakness and helplessness."

"Passion—or madness—will drive you to take that leap of faith, daring to move mountains and shift the heavens!"

"Besides, logically speaking, your loved one would likely want to fight for you too."

"Even if it means aging together, watching the wrinkles deepen, and being startled by the reality of the aging person lying next to you who was once a handsome youth or a beautiful belle."

"The important thing is, you're still together."

Gu Sanqiu shrugged. "Of course, there are also those who endure tough times together, only to turn selfish and stray when fortune finally smiles. Happens to both men and women."

"On a global scale, cases like this aren't rare."

Not that he was trying to preach or make sweeping claims. Gu Sanqiu had simply seen too much of it firsthand.

Fame and Mora, power and vanity—if you wanted to know where these blinding temptations were most prevalent, many would point to one place.

Liyue Harbor.

Gu Sanqiu could guarantee that the highest occurrence of such events was in Liyue Harbor, though this wasn't exactly something the authorities would boast about.

The Treasure Hoarders once collaborated with the Ministry of Civil Affairs on a study exploring the correlation between Liyue Harbor's growing prosperity and the restlessness of its people.

That research project, however, hit a dead end. No matter the era, there would always be those who championed humanity's darkest nature, as well as those who shone their light selflessly upon the world.

In the end, one of the last Incense Bearers of the project casually remarked that it was up to the ruling class to work harder, prompting the Treasure Hoarders and the Ministry of Civil Affairs to move on.

Why care so much?

Promote the good, let it flourish, and show people the tangible benefits of striving for better—whether material or spiritual.

As for the bad?

Stamp it out! And if you can't, keep pumping resources into the effort until you do!

Think you're rich enough? Try competing with all of Liyue!

"We… sigh."

Arataki Itto heaved a sigh. "Hearing you talk, it does make me wonder what we've been doing all this time."

"This world is so vast, and there's so much we don't know. Who knows? Maybe somewhere out there, my destined partner is waiting for me."

"I've made up my mind!"

Arataki Itto perked up, his spirits restored. "From now on, abolishing the Sakoku Decree is one of my goals. I'm going to work for it!"

…What?

Gu Sanqiu was dumbfounded. My whole point was to get you to work harder and live a better life. The Sakoku Decree was just an example!

Arataki Itto, the self-proclaimed "World's Greatest," had gone from contemplating self-improvement to declaring himself some kind of revolutionary love warrior!

What next? Were you going to compete with Beidou's crew? Drag this plot out for twenty years, ending up as a love-struck Pirate King?

What you need now isn't a career or a girlfriend—you need a bucket of cold water!

"Look, how about you calm down and focus on your current situation? Maybe, in the process of working hard, you'll meet someone who truly captures your heart. Don't you think that sounds more realistic?"

"You know… you might have a point."

Gu Sanqiu finally let out a sigh of relief, only to see Arataki Itto fixing him with an expression of grave seriousness.

The Success Coach wore a blank expression.

Hey, could you not look so serious? Seeing such a solemn expression on your iron-headed face is as absurd as imagining Chongyun lounging with a girl on each arm!

"I've decided!"

"I hereby relinquish my position as the leader of the Arataki Gang. From this moment on, you are my boss!"

"Not only can you best me in a fight, but your words have… have…" Itto stumbled, searching for the term. "Like Granny always says—opened my eyes!"

"She said people like you are truly capable. I, Arataki Itto, admire you!"

With that, Arataki Itto leapt to his feet and bowed deeply to Gu Sanqiu.

"Boss, please accept my respect!"

"Hold it right there!"

---

Oh? You're still here? Wow. Either you really enjoy my company, or you scrolled too fast and forgot to close the tab. Either way—respect.

Now, since I have your attention, let's talk business. Web fluid, coffee, replacement suits—being me isn't cheap. And last I checked, saving the world doesn't come with a salary. Tragic, I know.

But you can make a difference! By supporting [patreon.com/WiseTL], you're not just helping a poor, overworked Spider-Man—you're securing front-row seats to even more chaos, bad jokes, and possibly a few existential crises.

So go on, be a hero. Support the cause. And who knows? Maybe I'll name my next web trick after you. (Probably not, but hey, worth a shot.)

Stay cool, don't trust bald telepaths, and always double-check your web cartridges.

— Xia Luo 🕷️