Forced Me to Regress, Huh?

Sometimes, people experienced sudden epiphanies.

For Dong Dong and Zheng Qingfeng, this was one of those moments.

Their brains felt like phones set to vibrate, buzzing incessantly.

The two were just short of turning to Liu Feng and saying in unison, “Chuan’er, we’re sorry!”

Damn it. They really are goddesses. It’s not that you’re inexperienced.

Even if the King of Heaven showed up, these two would still be goddesses!

No wonder, no wonder Liu Feng slapped our thighs earlier.

So, they’re here to see Cheng Zhu?

Wait, does that mean one of them is the senior sister who accompanied Cheng Zhu to our dorm? Dong Dong suddenly realized. He quickly asked Liu Feng, “Which one? Which one is it?”

His sudden outburst stunned the four girls.

Liu Feng immediately answered, “The taller one.”

He continued confidently, “See? Doesn’t she have a strong aura? That’s why I thought she wasn’t a student here. I figured she was Brother Zhu’s family.”

Before seeing Shen Qingning in person, they would have scoffed at Liu Feng for using aura to describe a senior sister.

But now? They could only nod in agreement.

Aloof and cold, she radiated a noble aura that felt untouchable.

No, why would she personally walk him to the dorm and even hold an umbrella for him? Dong Dong felt that his worldview had been shattered. Could our roommate have some major connections? What’s his background?

At the same time, they understood why Cheng Zhu was determined to keep his appointment with the senior sisters, remaining completely unfazed even after meeting the pretty girls from Zhu Yingying’s dorm room.

They were indeed not in the same league.

At first, Dong Dong had been worried that the tall and handsome Cheng Zhu might steal his thunder tonight.

But now, he realized how shallow that thought had been.

Yao Yina, the most interested in Cheng Zhu among the girls, noticed Shen Qingning and Lin Lu walking towards him. Hearing Liu Feng’s comments, she asked curiously, “What are you guys talking about?”

Liu Feng gave a brief explanation.

Yao Yina’s spirits instantly deflated. Being straightforward, she blurted, “Ah, I wanted to add him as a friend.”

This made the other three from Room 309 even more envious and bitter. Fuck, he just came here to make an appearance, and a girl still wants his WeChat?

Guan Jiayue’s gaze kept drifting towards Cheng Zhu. Watching him calmly converse with the two girls, she suddenly thought this person must be rich!

I misjudged him, totally misjudged him, she berated herself inwardly. I thought he only ticked two out of the three boxes of tall, rich, and handsome, but it turns out he’s got it all!

And judging by his attitude just now, he’s definitely not a licking dog for pretty girls! Guan Jiayue had raised a few of them herself, so how could she not recognize the signs?

Her interest in Cheng Zhu suddenly grew, but just as quickly, she felt he had become out of reach.

At this moment, everyone at their table heard a remark from a boy at the table behind them.

“Shit, isn’t that the b—ahem, the brother sitting at the table in front earlier?” His voice reeked of jealousy, and though the word ‘bastard’ was at the tip of his tongue, he swallowed it back, not daring to say it out loud.

The boys at this table had earlier thought the girls at the table in front were quite pretty and felt that the first-year guys sitting with them must be fairly capable.

But now, they realized they had been frogs at the bottom of a well.

Those girls were Shen Qingning and Lin Lu!

This wasn’t just being capable. It was outrageous luck with women!

Hey, you god among men, before descending into the mortal world, did you fucking blackmail the God of Marriage or something? Is that why he tied the ultimate red string of fate around you like crazy?

Some people even harbored spiteful thoughts like: “He’s gay, he’s totally gay! Please, just let him be their male bestie! He’s a full-on gay dude!”

“Damn it. He really deserves to die!”

Meanwhile, Cheng Zhu naturally had no idea that, just after arriving at school and making a name for himself again, people were already having such venomous thoughts about him, trying to ‘bend’ him through sheer willpower.

For people to have such advanced malice in 2014, it was a talent in its own right.

At this moment, Cheng Zhu could feel the gazes from all around him.

So he asked, “Do you two not come to the cafeteria often?”

“Yeah, not really,” Lin Lu replied.

“No wonder.” Cheng Zhu started to make sense of the situation.

“But seriously, why are you so cheap, treating me to a cafeteria meal?” He looked up at Lin Lu, clearly dissatisfied.

“I’m just helping you get familiar with the place! Where else would you find exceptional senior sisters like us?” Lin Lu once again emphasized her status as a senior sister and proposed, “How about this? From now on, you’re not allowed to call me by my name at school. You have to call me senior sister. Okay?”

“Okay, Lin Lu.” Cheng Zhu felt she was making a fuss over nothing.

He retorted, “Then you have to call me master in public!”

“No way, Cheng Zhu!” She thought he was just as ridiculous.

Even though it was clearly childish bickering, Shen Qingning, who had been irritated at Lin Lu all day, found the banter strangely enjoyable.

In the end, it was Lin Lu who went to line up for food. Cheng Zhu didn’t even bother moving his butt and even shouted for her to grab him another bottle of cola.

—Excerpt from Role Model of Our Generation

The food at the Sci-Tech University cafeteria was just as unpalatable as ever.

It made him reflect on how absurd human nature could be. He knew it tasted bad, but out of nostalgia, he stubbornly insisted on trying it again in this life!

After the meal, Cheng Zhu left the cafeteria with the two girls and even waved goodbye to his roommates on the way out.

Dong Dong and the others wanted to follow but managed to hold themselves back.

The sky was darkening as the sun sank lower on the horizon.

Cheng Zhu’s shadow grew longer under the twilight glow as Lin Lu followed closely behind, deliberately stomping on his shadow to vent her anger.

Realizing this, he deliberately stepped his left leg to the side, making his shadow instantly dodge her attack.

Their antics were so childish that Shen Qingning felt a headache coming on. She suspected Cheng Zhu was treating Lin Lu like a child of Little Youzi’s age.

However, as she observed their interactions, she noticed both of them were relaxed and at ease.

But she couldn’t feel the same way.

As mentioned before, Shen Qingning and Lin Lu no longer lived on campus. They had rented a nice apartment near the school and started living together as sisters.

The apartment had three bedrooms and a living room, and they had converted the spare room into a dressing room.

So they would part ways with Cheng Zhu at the fork in the road. The two of them would head to the parking lot to get their car, while Cheng Zhu would walk back to his dorm.

Just before separating, Lin Lu suddenly called out to Cheng Zhu, “Ah, I almost forgot!”

She opened her bag—nicknamed Black Fatty—and took out a small, dark golden bottle.

“Here, a little gift from your senior sister to celebrate your start at school—sunscreen. Aren’t you about to start military training? This will come in handy. My service is pretty good, huh?!” She handed it to him with a grin.

The voice actress had just come back from a gig and had specially stopped by a mall to pick it up on her way back.

“What’s a guy like me supposed to do with sunscreen?” Cheng Zhu grumbled. “What kind of a gift is this?”

Although he grumbled, his hands moved quickly and grabbed the bottle.

Even if he didn’t use it himself, he could always give it to another girl.

“What do you know? Sunscreen is one of the best ways to prevent aging. It’s not just to avoid getting tanned. It’s more effective than applying expensive skincare products!” Lin Lu explained, clearly annoyed by his dismissive attitude. She felt she had been incredibly thoughtful with this gift.

“You’re really thinking long-term, huh? Prevent aging? What does how I’ll look when I’m old have to do with you?”

“Ahhhh! Then give it back to me!”

“Bye-bye!” Cheng Zhu turned around and headed towards the male dorms. Without looking back, he raised his arm to wave goodbye.

It was time to return to his dorm room and wait for his three foster sons to come back and massage his shoulders and legs.

Everything was as Cheng Zhu had expected. His three useless roommates only had dinner for the mixer and didn’t have any follow-up activities.

They could have at least gone to the bubble tea street off-campus. They could have sat around chatting, played cards, or enjoyed some board games.

Instead, as soon as Dong Dong and Liu Feng walked in, they dragged their chairs from their desks, plopped them down in front of Cheng Zhu, and sat down with a thud.

Zheng Qingfeng wasn’t as loud and boisterous as they were. He was more reserved and slowly moved his chair over.

“What is this? Surrounding me?” Cheng Zhu raised an eyebrow.

“Brother Zhu, you won’t believe how many people were talking about you in the cafeteria!” Liu Feng spoke first.

Cheng Zhu didn’t care about this. What’s so surprising? If my identity as a lingerie tycoon got exposed, the entire college scene in Hangzhou would be buzzing about me.

Do you understand the value of the most talked-about man in the adult products industry?

I’m the top male celebrity in the adult products circle!

He waved his hand dismissively. “Just because I had a meal with them? Is that all it takes?”

These simple words instantly extinguished the flames of gossip in the three of them, and they couldn’t find anything to say for a while.

Instead, Cheng Zhu, with the mindset of his past life, was curious about how the little guys’ first mixer had gone. “So, how did your mixer go?”

It was only then that Dong Dong suddenly remembered now and said, “Oh, right! Zhu Yingying said we could form an eight-person group chat with both our dorm rooms!”

“Wow, looks like I underestimated you,” Cheng Zhu said in surprise.

Had this been before, Dong Dong and the others would have been somewhat displeased when he said something like this.

But now, even our cold-faced, chubby Zheng Qingfeng thought there was nothing wrong with his tone.

In fact, Cheng Zhu had no interest in joining the group.

But since they were roommates and would have to get along in the future, it wouldn’t be good to refuse and embarrass them.

Immediately after, Dong Dong started adding the people from Room 309, and Zhu Yingying invited her roommates into the group.

After joining the group, Cheng Zhu immediately turned on Do Not Disturb, sent a silly emoji, and then didn’t say anything else.

Speaking of which, it was kind of funny. They were all in the same dorm room and even sat in a circle, but these three little guys, even when interacting as boys, would choose to smile and type in the group chat on their phones rather than just talking directly to each other in person.

They even occasionally nudged each other with their shoulders, giving each other playful looks.

Although Cheng Zhu didn’t speak in the group, he received a few red notification dots in his WeChat contacts. Someone had added him as a friend.

“Holy crap! Why did Zhu Yingying add me?” Liu Feng, the first mute, finally couldn’t hold it in and spoke up. It seemed like his vocal cords hadn’t been damaged by debauchery.

“Damn it! What did you say?” Dong Dong, the second mute, immediately got fired up and even a little annoyed.

After all, he was the one who had asked Zhu Yingying for her WeChat in the first place.

Zheng Qingfeng, the third mute, was still as sparse with his words as ever. He raised his hand and said, “Add one!”

It seemed she had added him as well.

Everyone looked at Cheng Zhu. He nodded and said, “She added all of us. It’s pretty normal. You can stop worrying now, Old Dong.”

“That’s more like it.” Dong Dong nodded. “Did anyone else add you as a friend?”

Liu Feng and Zheng Qingfeng shook their heads in unison.

Seeing that Cheng Zhu hadn’t responded for a while, everyone looked at him again.

“Uh, what was it? Yao Yina and what’s her name?”

“Guan Jiayue!”

“Right, Guan Jiayue. They added me too,” Cheng Zhu replied.

It was normal. At this age, boys could be hesitant and timid, while girls tended to be more proactive.

To them, what was the big deal about adding someone as a friend?

Even if Cheng Zhu turned out to be a male god in the end, they would still feel happy about having a male god as a friend on WeChat.

Hearing this, Dong Dong raised his hand and pretended to slap himself. “Fuck. Why did I even ask?!”

Cheng Zhu comforted, “Don’t worry. Even though they added me, I won’t talk to them.”

Damn it, the things we want, he doesn’t even care about them!

Dong Dong saw that Cheng Zhu was holding a small dark golden bottle in his left hand, twirling it between his fingers like he was spinning a lighter. Wanting to change the topic and stop talking about this envy-inducing matter, he asked, “Hey, what are you spinning in your hand, Brother Zhu?”

Cheng Zhu was doing this action absentmindedly. Only when Dong Dong asked did he look down and say, “Oh, it’s just some sunscreen someone gave me.”

When the three of them heard this, their eyes widened.

For a moment, it seemed like the dark golden bottle in his hand was shimmering under the room lights.

Since he said it was a gift from someone, was there a need to guess who it was?

It had to be one of those two senior sisters!

With military training coming up, giving sunscreen to a guy was really considerate.

Where did this fairy senior sister come from?!

What’s the meaning of this? What the hell is going on?! If this isn’t the ambiguous stage, then I’ll cut off my head, both of them! Dong Dong became frustrated.

When I was in a relationship, I never even received a gift from her on Valentine’s Day, yet I emptied my savings for her. It was as if, to her, Valentine’s Day wasn’t a day to express mutual love but rather a one-sided holiday for her to receive gifts.

I’m really tired of being envious!

Why the hell did I even ask him that?

Dong Dong raised his hand and pretended to slap himself three more times. On the last one, his fingers actually hit his chin. Serves you right for having a big mouth, serves you right for having a big mouth, serves you right for having a big mouth!

“Hiss—!”