Family Ties: The 35th Games

The afternoon is more productive than the morning had been. Now that Jason isn't staring at me, there's less of an oppressive shadow following me around, so I have more brain space to focus on learning and practicing. In barely any time at all, Hassan informs us the day is over, and Nathan's come over to get me and walk with me back to our living quarters.

I'd be lying if I said I wasn't counting down the seconds until we'd be meeting Jason this evening. I wasn't sure what to make of him, and I definitely didn't trust him as much as Addalie seemed to already, but there was something different about him-- something that made him so starkly different from the other Careers. I was very curious about what he wanted to say-- what possibly he could say to make all of this make sense. 

When we get back, I change into something less sweaty, and spend some time talking with Sean and Olivia to pass the time before dinner. Sean tells stories about the weirdest Capitol citizens he's met over the years, and Olivia peppers Nathan with questions about District Nine-- it seems like, before she'd been Reaped, they were classmates, or at the very least had run into each other at school, and while Nathan didn't seem to remember much about her, she had so much she wanted to know about people they both knew. After she'd won her games, she hadn't gone back to school. 

Dinner is an uneventful affair, too, with Palana still wholly focused on Nathan, and Kera shooting me dirty looks, still not happy about this morning. I personally feel a lot less guilty, but I'm still worried-- I hope her anger with me doesn't turn into some sort of grudge. I couldn't imagine what kind of goofy outfit she'd put me in next, just to get even, if that was her goal. 

Finally, afternoon transitions into late evening. Our support staff, one by one, starts turning in for the night, and when it's just Sean left, nursing a glass of whiskey, we bid him farewell, letting him know vaguely that we're going to meet our teammates.

Addalie and Mark, funnily enough, meet us on the elevator, getting on right after we do, and we all go up together. We're not the firsts to arrive, but not the lasts either-- Breah and Georgie are already waiting for us, chatting idly when we make our way out the elevator and onto the roof. We get settled with them, and fall into comfortable, curious silence as we all wait for the man of the hour.

And without much more delay, he arrives, anxiety creating a tense line in his shoulders as his eyes scan the roof, looking at each of us in turn. "Sorry I'm late," he quips with a tiny smile, trying to break the ice. Addalie and I both return that smile, but the other four remain impassive and stoic.

"You're not late," Addalie assures him. "We all just got here too. Come sit down-- We have a lot to talk about."

He takes a seat, and I feel a pang of compassion-- the way we're all positioned is so strange, with the allied six of us in a semi circle across from him, like he's some sort of performer or lecturer. If he's uncomfortable about it, thought, he doesn't let it show, forearms resting on his knees as he gets comfortable. 

"This isn't a social call," Breah says, cutting right to the chase. "You wanted a chance to speak, and we've given you that. So get on with it."

"Sorry," Jason says sheepishly. "I'm just trying to figure out where to start."

"You could start by explaining why a Career would want to ditch the other Career tributes and join a bunch of outer district kids. Or explain why we should trust you at all," Mark snorts, obviously not impressed by Jason dragging his feet. 

"I intend to, I promise," Jason soothes. "It's just... a long story. And I want to do it justice."

"You called me a Career, but I'm not one," he begins, starting by looking at Mark. "I-- I guess I am, in everything but name. I'm from District Four. I have been training at the academy ever since I was eight. It was never something I wanted, though. I'd always wanted to be a fisherman," he admits.

"My dad was a Career when he was growing up, but he never got the chance to volunteer. He wasn't good enough, and the year he'd resolved to just volunteer anyway, someone else beat him to it. I think that really set him off. My grandma always said, before she died, that he was never the same after that, but I guess I'd never know."

"He married my mom when he was eighteen. Like.... barely months after his last eligible Reaping. They had me within their first year of being married, too. It was like...." Jason pauses, shaking his head. "It was like he lost his chance, but decided that whatever kid he had would do it instead. If I think about it, I don't think he ever really loved my mom. Or me, even. He just did what he had to, and said what he had to, to get a nice girl to have a kid with him. And then went along to mold that kid into what he'd always wished he could be."

"My mom was fantastic. Dad would push me; he started doing training before I started to go to the academy, and he was hard on me. He'd hurt me if I didn't do well enough, and punish me if I tried to disobey. But Mom would take care of me. She'd sneak me away in the evenings, let me go see the fish. Let me go play in the park. Mom was scared of Dad, but she did what she could to take care of me and gave me a tiny taste of a childhood. It was almost enough to offset everything else."

"Dad was ruthless, though, and he got even stricter once I made it into the Academy. If he ever caught mom going easy on me or sneaking me out to do something fun, he'd punish us both." Jason's eyes look tortured as he recounts it all. The same sadness falls over me as did when Georgie was telling me about her family and how she grew up, and I was reminded once again how lucky I was to have the family I did-- Nathan's presence next to me reminding me of that tenfold. 

He swallows hard, before continuing with his story. "My Dad.. he's friends with a lot of the Victors in Four. Trained with them. I don't think he actually sees them as friends, just networking opportunities, but they still act like friends. One day... I was eleven... My mom had brought me some candy home. Dad found me with it when she was at work. Kicked my ass for it, and sent me off to school."

"I don't know all of what happened. I never got the full story. I just know Dad went to the Victors after that. They spent the afternoon drinking. I was told they cornered her when she got off work. Beat her, as punishment for being soft on me. She uh... she didn't make it." Unshed tears sparkle in his eyes as Addalie sucks in a sharp breath. "They killed her in broad daylight, in front of half the district, but they got off. The Victors are royalty, you know. Got off with a warning. And they put in good word for Dad too, because to them, he was one of them. Mom never got a proper burial, either. Dad never loved her. I really do think part of him was happy to finally be rid of her."

He takes a deep breath, and I let a tear roll down my cheek, Nathan tugging me closer to him. Though Mark still tries to keep up a tough façade, it's clear all of us are deeply affected by his story. 

Affected or not, however, it seemed Georgie still has questions. "I... Look, I'm sorry. That sounds truly awful," she tells him, trying to keep her voice soft. "What does that have to do with us, though? I-- I'm not trying to be inconsiderate, I really feel for you. I just... I can't see the connection."

He smiles a little, seeming grateful to have a moment to compose himself, and a momentary distraction away from himself. A second to breathe. "Not volunteering for the Games was never an option. If I went past my eighteenth birthday without volunteering, Dad would have killed me himself. This year the Academy decided I was the best option, so this was the year to do it too."

He shakes his head slightly. "I'm not winning, though. I'm not fucking winning. I'm not giving my dad what he wants. I've never been his son, just a pawn in his own game to try to claim glory he was never good enough to get on his own. If I come home a Victor, I give him everything he wants. If I win, I think my mother dies in vain. I'll be doing her a disservice. My dad deserves to live out the rest of his life as a failure, stewing in his own regret."

"I don't want the Careers to win either, though. I've been through the Academy. I know how they all act. They think they're a better breed of human. Inherently more important than anyone else. And I've seen what happens when that type of person wins, and goes on to live their life with no consequences. It's just unleashing another monster into the world, one that could do something like kill my Mom and then keep going on like nothing ever happened. Brush it under the rug like it was just a little accident, and move on."

"The past ten years, a Career has won every single year but one." His eyes flash to Nathan and I. "Your mentor was the only break in that streak. I want to break the streak again."

"I know how Careers think. I know how they operate, how they fight, how they strategize, how they coordinate. You guys have talent. You have a lot going for you. But you could be even better with my help. I don't care which of you wins, okay-- not really my choice, and don't really want to make that my problem. But you lot have the best chance at beating the Careers, all grouped up like this. Let me help you win."

It's Georgie I look to first, gauging her reaction to everything he's said. Though their motivations stem from different places, the crux of what they both want feels pretty similar. The curiosity I'd seen in Georgie's eyes at lunch was fully present now, and fully unguarded, and I understood why. It must feel like she's found a kindred spirit.

Addalie was already onboard, it felt like, so it was no surprise to see her nodding, tears rolling down her cheek. Mark had relented too, his carefully impassive expression now giving way to something more morose and resigned. Breah is inscrutable as ever, though, and when I look to Nathan, I don't know what to make of his expression either. 

As for me, I believe him. How could I not, after he poured his heart out to us? He was so vulnerable and upfront, and to me, it felt like he was speaking from the heart. I felt fine having him work with us. And he was right-- he had a lot he could offer us too. With him joining us, the Careers would be down to five, and we'd have a group of seven-- it might just be enough to tip the scales. 

And it seemed Nathan had come to that same conclusion.

My brother rises to his feet, and Jason stands to meet him, the two standing toe to toe, holding eye contact. Nathan jabs a finger to Jason's chest, and I've never heard him sound as scary as he does now. "You step one fucking toe out of line, I'll personally make sure they won't even be able to recognize you when they come to get your body out of the Arena, you hear me?"

Jason takes the aggression in stride. "Yeah, I understand. I promise, man. I'm being for real." He pauses for a moment, looking over Nathan's shoulder and locking eyes with me. "You want to keep your sister safe. I understand. I'm not going to do anything to jeopardize that. She'll be safer with my help."

Nathan sighs, relenting and backing off. He knows Jason is right, and it seems he's been convinced too. "Good. I guess the more the merrier, then."

We all spend a bit more time on the roof. Addalie and I watch the horizon, playing I-Spy together-- it's silly and childish, but it's a flash of normalcy that makes our situation feel less dire. Breah turns in early, wishing us all a good night, and giving Jason a terse handshake on her way out. Mark and Nathan fall back into their usual chatter, but about what, I couldn't tell you.

Out of the corner of my eye, I see Georgie and Jason off to the side, deep in conversation, and I smile. They really do feel like kindred spirits to me. And in the little time left before the Games start, I hope that connection makes them both feel seen-- it's something I think both of them have been lacking their whole lives.