Delusive Fate

#073

At first, it was easy. There was nothing to hold him back. Jung Yi-dam was fearless. That’s because Jung Yi-dam knew most of the information about them.

Them, the ‘destined partners’.

When looking at targets like Choi Tae-hyuk or Im Geon-woo… characters that others couldn’t see appeared in Jung Yi-dam’s eyes. Only Jung Yi-dam could see the content. Although the four men connected to Jung Yi-dam by fate were also specially blessed, even they couldn’t see that much.

♥ Affection: 100

Choi Tae-hyuk (S)

– Age: 24

– Personality: A cold city man, but might change drastically if he falls in love? Tremendous responsibility hidden behind his bad-mouthed demeanor! If you become his lover, you won’t have to worry about making a living. He’ll even do manual labor to support you!

⁝

– Likes: Himself, iced vanilla latte, intellectual conversations

– Dislikes: Weakness, stupidity, cucumbers

– Frequently seen at: Quiet parks, Center lounge cafe, 3rd Briefing Room

(+See more)

Of course, not all information was given from the start. But as he repeated his conquests, as Jung Yi-dam learned more about this world and the main story, the other person became transparent. New information was added, and he could know even the most trivial and intimate secrets, even momentary thoughts.

Therefore, by the time Jung Yi-dam had conquered Choi Tae-hyuk about twelve times, he managed to raise his affection to 100 in less than a month after the story began. Compared to the first conquest where he couldn’t achieve 100 affection even by the ending, the current Jung Yi-dam was reading Choi Tae-hyuk like an answer key.

Jung Yi-dam loved Choi Tae-hyuk. He was born to love, so he didn’t hesitate to fall in love. Once he decided who to pursue, love began from that moment. Jung Yi-dam’s heart was always pounding, and his mind was dizzy with affection. And he came to desire that the other person would love him passionately too. No, it wasn’t just a desire. It had to be that way unconditionally. He couldn’t even imagine it not being so.

Jung Yi-dam raised Choi Tae-hyuk’s affection with all his passion. He made him fall in love with himself. Being able to see the affection level was truly enjoyable. Checking Choi Tae-hyuk’s numerically quantified affection every day, Jung Yi-dam was happier than anyone. He wished for that number to quickly become 100, for his, no, their love to become perfect. A complete love without even the slightest gap. That love would be eternal. The absolutely flawless love that Jung Yi-dam had wished for, wished for, wished for all his life, sometimes longing for it so deeply that his breathing became rapid.

“But isn’t something strange?”

Jung Yi-dam suddenly spoke with his pitch-black eyes. Choi Tae-hyuk asked back.

“What is?”

Choi Tae-hyuk was Jung Yi-dam’s first conquest target. He was also Jung Yi-dam’s first love.

When the main story first started, and how many times the same content was repeated after that, how many endings he had faced, he couldn’t remember well. In any case, it was clear that it had been well over ten times. During that time, Jung Yi-dam only pursued Choi Tae-hyuk. Because he loved him. Because love doesn’t change. From the first moment Jung Yi-dam decided to love Choi Tae-hyuk, he had been loving him without changing for even a single moment. He had been conquering him countless times.

Achieving 100 affection countless times.

And countless endings.

‘Yes, the ending. That’s fine up to there. It’s perfect without any flaws.’

Jung Yi-dam reflects on the process of conquering Choi Tae-hyuk in the darkness.

‘The faster I raise Choi Tae-hyuk’s affection, the more this person has no choice but to love me more. The longer the time spent falling in love, the greater the attachment must be. So I like how Choi Tae-hyuk’s actions become more passionate with each iteration. It’s ecstatic to see this person not knowing what to do because he loves me. This time at the ending, he kissed me almost tearfully as soon as the last gate ended. He knelt down, begging me to stay by his side. He said he’d give me everything. Yes, that was certainly perfect, but…’

But… but.

Jung Yi-dam was utterly dissatisfied. The ending. The result that must be faced after following the predetermined path to conquer the other person. Once he faced that, Jung Yi-dam’s duty was over. The gates disappeared, and peace returned to the world that had ended its destruction. The awakened ones could live safely, free from their inhuman abilities and the threat to their lives that had always been by their side. In the time outside the story that would continue like that, Jung Yi-dam just had to love Choi Tae-hyuk passionately, as if on fire, until death. That was the only purpose of Jung Yi-dam’s life.

But it was strange.

“I definitely think there’s a problem.”

“Yeah, okay. That’s a big deal.”

On an ordinary evening no different from yesterday, Jung Yi-dam was looking at Choi Tae-hyuk with slowly opening and closing eyes. The place was the dimly lit living room of their house. The spacious and luxurious house with marble floors was the home that Choi Tae-hyuk and Jung Yi-dam had furnished together after the ending. The two were sitting side by side on an expensive leather sofa made from the skin of a young cow. About one span, no, two spans apart.

Jung Yi-dam’s clear eyes, staring straight at Choi Tae-hyuk, were as black as those of a small reptile and inscrutable. Choi Tae-hyuk was completely unaware that Jung Yi-dam’s eyes were like that. Because he wasn’t looking at Jung Yi-dam.

Choi Tae-hyuk’s concentration was entirely devoted to the large TV hanging on the living room wall. A 120-inch TV bought to match the large house, with a wide and clear screen. On it, an unfunny video game was in progress. Choi Tae-hyuk’s indifferent face as he held the wireless controller connected to the console game. Such games where you wander around dark underground caves and beat up everything in sight weren’t to Jung Yi-dam’s taste either. No, it wasn’t just a lack of interest. Jung Yi-dam despised such violent games. He thought they were completely wrong. He was convinced that such trash content should disappear from the world.

‘There’s no love, no love at all.’

Such things are not beautiful at all. Choi Tae-hyuk clearly knew that Jung Yi-dam thought this way.

“This isn’t right.”

“……”

“Tae-hyuk.”

Choi Tae-hyuk didn’t even respond anymore. Since the gates disappeared after the ending, Choi Tae-hyuk had been noticeably bored. After the ending, noticeably.

Even though I’m right next to him.

Jung Yi-dam muttered amidst the noise of the game’s gunfights coming through the home theater’s surround sound, amidst the screams of monsters dying from gunshots, amidst the terrible, cruel, and not at all sublime disgusting clamor.

“This isn’t love.”

It’s all wrong. Perfect love isn’t like this. This isn’t complete. This tedious peace spread all over the streets, without even a bit of excitement. This ordinary daily life that anyone, as long as they’re not particularly unfortunate, or at least ordinary, would surely be living.

Choi Tae-hyuk not even looking at me despite having me by his side. Choi Tae-hyuk seeming fine as if there’s absolutely no problem in living like this.

“Love is…”

Not this. Absolutely not.

If it were perfect, it couldn’t be like this. I wasn’t born to do such trivial things. This isn’t why I loved you. My love must be perfect. It should burn passionately. I want a love so flawless that not a single part is empty. I’m certain, something is wrong here.

Jung Yi-dam couldn’t understand. He had clearly filled the affection to 100, as if pressing it down tightly. Having conquered Choi Tae-hyuk countless times, it was as easy as eating cold porridge for Jung Yi-dam. He strongly pushed himself into Choi Tae-hyuk’s heart, into his mind. He set himself on fire and burned brightly. Choi Tae-hyuk, overwhelmed by the dizzying aura Jung Yi-dam emitted with his whole body, acted as if he would collapse without him. After the last gate raid ended, he clung to Jung Yi-dam, showering him with kisses, shouting that he loved him, loved him madly. Jung Yi-dam thought that was what love was.

“It’s not this, but that is love. Are you listening, Tae-hyuk?”

I know even if you don’t answer. You’re not listening at all. So this isn’t love. Why have you changed like this? Why aren’t you the same as before the ending?

Jung Yi-dam, staring straight at Choi Tae-hyuk who was absorbed in the video game, with black pupils that couldn’t be read, tilted his head lovingly and pondered.

Why does this always happen after the ending? My heart is just as hot before and after the ending. It hasn’t changed. Even if the system’s compulsory power has weakened because the main story has ended, isn’t it too strange that this happens every time? It’s as if you’re saying that all the passion you showed me before the ending was fake, manipulated by the system.

That’s too much. I feel like I could die from disappointment.

It’s natural for me to receive perfect love. But it’s wrong that Choi Tae-hyuk, whom I love, doesn’t love me enough to die for me. Is it perhaps Choi Tae-hyuk’s problem? Should I try conquering someone else next time?

It doesn’t have to be Choi Tae-hyuk. Jung Yi-dam loved Choi Tae-hyuk, but he wasn’t only capable of loving Choi Tae-hyuk. He was ready to love anyone.

Jung Yi-dam, who died again and opened his eyes, chose a different target this time. He began to love Im Geon-woo instead of Choi Tae-hyuk. He poured out his whole heart and repeated the conquest. Im Geon-woo burns with love for Jung Yi-dam. Affection 100 achieved. Ending.

“I love you so, so much, more than the whole world combined, more than the universe, with all my heart, Geon-woo.”

“I love you too, Yi-dam. I love you to death.”

“Really?”

“Really.”

“Then die.”

But Im Geon-woo didn’t die either. He never died, not once. I’m disappointed, why don’t you die if you love me enough to die? Jung Yi-dam pursued Ji Woo-won this time in search of perfect love. Blah blah blah affection 100 ending.

“Woo-won, can you die for me? Do you love me that much?”

“Yes, I love you that much.”

“Then would you like to die?”

“What?”

“I said die. Here’s a knife. I’ll give you this, so just stab yourself somewhere right now. The neck is good, or the heart. As long as you die, okay?”

“…Yi-dam? What is this, the knife is dangerous so let’s put it back in the kitchen…”

“Die. You said you could die. You said you love me enough to die. Just die once for me, Woo-won, okay?”

He didn’t die. That wasn’t real love. It’s all fake. Jung Yi-dam became dazed as if suffering from lovesickness because no one would die for him. It was lovesickness for love. Ji Woo-won, who seemed about to go crazy with love, Ji Woo-won who was scolding Jung Yi-dam to put down the knife. Jung Yi-dam, watching him with melancholic eyes for not giving what he wanted, said “I hate you” and then went out to the street. He sat on a park bench holding a sharply honed German kitchen knife and sighed.

“Why doesn’t anyone love me…”

I don’t need money, I don’t need honor. All I want is perfect love, just that one thing. I’m the only person in the world worthy of such love.

“This makes it seem like the love I dream of doesn’t exist in this world…”

If this continues, if no one proves their love enough to die… On a dark night, in a quiet park. Streetlights sparsely lit. A few moths flying around the streetlights. Jung Yi-dam, gripping the knife tightly with both hands, blinked his eyes sadly as he watched two moths circling each other as if mating. That’s when it happened. A familiar voice was heard from beyond the walkway.

“Hyung, are you really going to act like this? Are you doing this on purpose?”

“What am I doing on purpose?”

“I told you not to drink without me. I clearly said I don’t like you smiling like that in front of other guys, but why do you always do this?”

“Hey, I have social relationships too. And Jin-oh and Yun-ah are just friends…”

“Don’t call them without honorifics.”

You call me ‘ya’ but why do you call that Jin whatever so fondly? I told you I don’t like that guy, I don’t like that noona either…! Shouldn’t you only be that affectionate when calling me?

A whining tone. Yet a sweet voice overflowing with affection that couldn’t be hidden. Jung Yi-dam quietly looked in the direction the voices were coming from. Two people passing under the yellow streetlight, under the moths clinging to each other in the air. Familiar faces. A face that looked sharp yet cold.

‘That’s… Ki Baek-woo.’

And the man on Ki Baek-woo’s back, only his face barely visible. A white face laughing, haha, with a relaxed expression…

‘What was that person’s name again? Maybe… it was Lee Han-sol?’

The two people, lost in their own world, passed by without even noticing Jung Yi-dam. Jung Yi-dam, who had been quietly staring at where they disappeared, soon raised the knife. Stab, stab, stab. He stabbed his own stomach until he died.