Chaos' Heir

Chapter 1012: Purity



Liiza had taught Khan so much that he struggled to remember his life before her, and that went beyond the Niqols' ways and arts. She had given him happiness and love while the curse was still active, something that Khan didn't dare to hope for. Something Khan didn't think was possible.

That was a good thing, but it also added another layer to Khan's curse. He didn't only have to deal with the nightmares after that. He also knew that better things were possible and that he had lost them.

Khan suddenly recalled how he had felt when deciding to go to Ecoruta. His desperation couldn't deepen but had broadened, encompassing more than the simple nightmares. That was a natural reaction to his grief, but unknown repercussions followed.

A single-minded approach was limited but firm. It was the most straightforward and shorter line toward someone's goal, especially for someone as suicidal as Khan. Yet, his mind had gained room for more, complicating that dark but pure desperation.

Khan wasn't the same after Nitis, and even his approach to life changed. Eliminating the nightmares still was his main goal, but a certain longing had joined that mission.

Khan now knew he could hope to strive for more than a life controlled by his desperation. He was aware he could get some respite from the constant darkness of his curse, improving his time before defeating it.

The process hadn't been easy. Khan had his mission to prioritize, and his lingering love for Liiza had prevented him from wholeheartedly accepting external comfort. He knew it existed and was possible even for someone like him, but feelings weren't rational.

If anything, Khan's emotions had gone against that desire for comfort. It was a strange conflict, really, but Khan couldn't decide how he felt. His mind wanted what he had with Liiza. Actually, it wanted her, and no one seemed to be her match. No one could, and Khan suffered whenever he tried to prove that wrong.

What was supposed to be a break from the curse had only added more darkness. Khan felt dirty, but enough time eventually passed, easing that suffering. Cutting himself off from relationships that couldn't meet his standards also helped and almost made him ready to return to his single-minded approach.

However, that was when Monica appeared.

Khan had truly done his best. He had stayed away as much as possible, erecting walls around himself to remain focused on his goal. Khan had chosen to do that out of respect for the people he had hurt due to his emotional unavailability. It was better to suffer alone than to accept people's feelings when Khan couldn't reciprocate them.

However, Khan couldn't control people, and the latter were unreasonable enough to want to make him happy, and Monica eventually succeeded.

All things considered, Monica's feat had been quite incredible. Jenna had helped, but Monica had still stubbornly pursued that harsh task, coming out victorious.

Khan had also played a part. As much as he tried to oppose it, he wanted to lose. Khan knew happiness was possible, and a hidden corner of his mind longed for that feeling.

And happiness did arrive, albeit with countless caveats. Khan's life wasn't about searching for the Nak and enjoying loving respite with his partner anymore. He was thrown into an intricate array of deals and compromises, each complicating his journey more than the last.

Monica wasn't solely to blame for that. Khan had to pursue political accomplishments to obtain information otherwise impossible to obtain. Still, Monica's presence did push his journey in a specific direction, eventually putting a crown on his head.

Khan didn't know how he had gotten there, but the conclusion was undeniable. He had become a species leader, a planet owner, and a key figure in many critical deals. A big chunk of the Global Army revolved around him, granting him a level of authority he would have never dreamed of obtaining as a kid.

That was overall great. The job was serious, heavy, and tiring, but Khan's life had never been better. He had Monica, loyal friends, all the wealth he could possibly wish for, and access to classified information. Anyone would think that Khan had won at everything, but a darker reality lay underneath.

Success brought enemies, especially for someone as unorthodox as Khan. His character only worsened that truth, immersing him in a never-ending series of conflicts against parties that disliked his authority and level of influence.

That was still fine. After all, Khan was nothing but a battle expert. However, that complicated environment had repercussions that stretched as deep as his desperation, and their effects weren't easy to spot.

Somewhere along the way, Khan's life had become too complicated, polluting his pure desperation with countless shades that added layers to its power.

Khan couldn't mindlessly pursue the Nak anymore. He had to take care of Monica, the Scalqa, his domain, his political status, his power, and himself. He had duties that didn't allow a single-minded approach. That was how life was, but the purity of Khan's desperation inevitably suffered from all that.

As sad and unreasonable as it sounded, happiness had weakened Khan. His various goals had made him accomplish wonders in many fields but had also added barriers to the real source of his power. His original, unyielding advantage had become impure, preventing him from expressing the boundless depths of its potential.

That didn't apply to every field, but Khan couldn't help but compare himself to Lord Mighty. That seemingly brainless Royal Guard was a singular existence with a sole purpose in mind. He was pure, just like every evolved warrior should be, just like Khan had once been. 'How hilarious,' Khan thought. 'Universe, you really won't let me have anything, will you?' Khan would laugh if he didn't feel so tired. Yet, a strange realization took root in his mind, slowly flooding his body with new strength.

'I guess happiness doesn't matter if I can't protect it,' Khan realized. 'How annoying.' In hindsight, it made sense. Khan only needed to look at his arsenal to know. None of Khan's spells came from positive emotions, so it made sense that the core of his power had to be dark. Still, summoning it through compromises and intricate techniques couldn't fully express it. Only purity could reveal its true face.

"[Hey, mana]," Khan said, his Niqols words nothing more than a hoarse whisper. "[Do you remember the first time I summoned you]?"

A strange vibe filled the world. The air came to a stop as if thinking about Khan's question. That faint but mystical reaction made Lord Mighty halt his steps. Even his lackluster perception could sense that something was happening.

"[Do you mind feeling my desperation one last time]?" Khan asked, and the world answered.