Ball-Boy Tactics

“Yeah, it’s me.”

Kwon Jungwoo finally stood in front of me. Still in shock, I couldn’t even think of standing up, so I remained seated, looking up at him as he casually took off my hat. My hair, which had been fluffed up, fell messily back into place.

In the busy PC room, filled with people engrossed in their games, no one paid us any attention. Even though Kwon Jungwoo, with his broad frame and striking good looks, had crossed the room, attracting some glances, no one could really see me, especially with him blocking their view.

Seeing Kwon Jungwoo again after so long almost hurt—he looked so stunning.

“How did you get here? What about your training…?”

“My boyfriend said he was staying out overnight, so I came to check up on him.”

Kwon Jungwoo said the most outrageous thing so casually, the playful twinkle in his eyes making me snap back to reality.

…Was he really saying he flew here from Jeju because of me?

The fact that he referred to me as his boyfriend made me instinctively glance over at Kim Hyoseok. Fortunately, neither he nor any of our other friends seemed to notice Kwon Jungwoo’s arrival yet.

“Jungwoo, let’s get out of here first—Ah!”

Suddenly, Kwon Jungwoo grabbed my wrist with a strong grip. His sharp gaze fell to the inside of my wrist.

“Is this a mosquito bite?”

He pressed hard on the swollen bite, his fingers digging into my skin without any concern for how itchy it was.

“Why do your mosquito bites always look like this? It makes me suspicious.”

He didn’t bother to explain what kind of misunderstanding he was talking about. Instead, he kept rubbing and pinching the inflamed bump with relentless focus.

“It itches, Jungwoo.”

I looked up at him, pleading for him to stop, trying to pry his fingers away.

He stared down at me in silence, still gripping my wrist firmly. His gaze was intense, those dark eyes scanning me from my eyes, down to my lips, and then my neckline. If it hadn’t been for the round-necked T-shirt I was wearing, I had no doubt his gaze would have continued even lower. His Adam’s apple bobbed as he swallowed.

Just then, Kim Hyoseok’s cheerful voice interrupted, making Kwon Jungwoo grip my wrist even tighter.

“Oh? Hi! What brings you here…?”

I quickly twisted my wrist free, and this time, Kwon Jungwoo let go without any resistance.

Hyoseok looked back and forth between us, eyes wide with surprise. Then, as if he had just figured something out, his mouth opened in a round “O.”

“Ah! So you really weren’t talking to your girlfriend earlier? I thought you were just embarrassed and making excuses.”

“……”

“So you guys are just friends, huh?”

His cheerful tone left me speechless for a moment.

I remembered the conversation where Kwon Jungwoo had told me we were just friends in front of others. That had been the beginning of our argument. Feeling a bit stung, I glanced up at Kwon Jungwoo.

He was looking at me, his gaze slightly tilted, as if waiting for my response. It was the face I had come to know so well—the one that only I knew.

And for some reason, that look triggered something in me. Was it a sudden impulse? Or maybe courage? I wasn’t sure. But in that moment, I felt like I could confess anything as long as Kwon Jungwoo was beside me.

So, for the first time, I wanted to speak honestly about us.

“We are friends, but… actually, Hyoseok, to be honest—”

“Yeah, we’re just good friends. We’ve been in touch.”

But just as I was about to muster up the courage, Kwon Jungwoo cut me off. He said the exact opposite of what I wanted to say.

Then, without hesitation, he picked up my camera bag, stuffed with equipment, with one hand. The veins on the back of his hand bulged as he lifted it with ease.

“Thanks for letting Jiwon borrow your phone.”

Let’s go.

Kwon Jungwoo signaled for me to follow him. That was all he had to say to Hyoseok, it seemed, as he didn’t spare him another glance.

I quickly stood up and followed Kwon Jungwoo. The familiar difference in our heights was comforting, and I was overwhelmed by the familiar scent of him, warm and comforting without a trace of cologne.

“Oh, are you leaving, Jiwon?”

My other friends finally noticed I was leaving. I gave them a quick wave, and they waved back with a mixture of regret and indifference.

As soon as we left the PC room, Kwon Jungwoo put the hat back on my head and firmly grabbed my wrist again, leading the way. In the bustling streets, even at 11 PM, I followed, my eyes fixed on his steps.

After walking for a while, the streets became quieter and more secluded. When the alleyway began to feel somewhat eerie, I called out to him.

“Jungwoo. So why are you really here? Did something happen? You didn’t seriously come just because of me, right?”

“We agreed to talk in person. Let’s finish what we were discussing earlier.”

“I didn’t think you meant

…”

“You really thought I’d just sit still after hearing you wanted to break up?”

His voice, now cold, startled me, and I quickly raised my head.

“Break up? Me? When did I ever—”

“Lower your head. If you get caught on camera here, you’ll be in trouble.”

At his words, I realized we were approaching the entrance of a motel. The building looked old and discreet, the kind of place that didn’t attract much attention.

“Why are we here…?”

“You can’t talk about things like that in the street.”

“…Well, yeah…”

Since what he said made sense, I quietly followed him. He mentioned that what I had said over the phone earlier sounded like I wanted to break up, so it seemed like we needed to talk. I had to explain seriously that I never meant it that way.

During my time as an athlete, I had stayed in hotels a few times, but this was my first time at a motel. I wasn’t sure if all motels were like this or if it was just this particular one being old, but there wasn’t even an elevator, so we had to use the stairs to get to the room.

I followed Kwon Jungwoo with a heavy heart. I was beyond happy to see him again after so long, but no matter how I thought about it, this wasn’t right.

Even though he was naturally athletic, he never neglected practice. I recalled the interview with his coach, who praised his dedication. For someone like him, who was called the future of Korean basketball, going astray because of me was something that could never happen.

If the choices were between basketball and Han Jiwon, Kwon Jungwoo had to choose basketball, not me. Clinging to him was entirely my problem.

“Did you get permission from your coach? Is it okay for you to be here?”

We had gone up about two floors when I quietly asked him, but there was no response.

“…Don’t tell me you really didn’t say anything?”

“……”

“Let’s go to the airport instead of here. We can talk in the car on the way. If you want to make it to practice tomorrow morning without any problems, we need to leave soon.”

“……”

“Jungwoo.”

I called out to him urgently and grabbed his wrist. I felt a modern-designed wristwatch in my hand. At the same time, Kwon Jungwoo gripped my arm tightly with his other hand.

“Just be quiet and follow me. We’re almost there.”

Standing on the stairs, Kwon Jungwoo looked down at me firmly. Even under the dim lighting, his angry eyes gleamed sharply. There was no way I could stand up to him in the face of his intense determination. Having failed to persuade him and feeling overwhelmed, I reluctantly followed.

The hallway was so quiet it made me wonder if there were any other guests. Not that it would happen, but even if we ended up having a loud argument, there wouldn’t be anyone to hear us. I was thinking about that when Kwon Jungwoo stopped in front of a room.

He inserted a key, not a card, into the lock, and the metal door clicked open.

Even without turning on the lights, the furniture in the room was visible. The neon sign outside the window illuminated the room with a faint light. The LED lights outlining the sign changed colors, and as they did, the colors in the room shifted slowly too.

I stepped into the quiet room, which I couldn’t possibly describe as stylish. The feel of the flooring underfoot reminded me of my grandmother’s house from childhood.

Clunk.

Kwon Jungwoo, who had followed me inside, locked the door behind us.

Without saying a word, we embraced each other almost instinctively. Our lips clashed urgently, and our hands fumbled along each other’s necks. My cap was knocked off and fell silently to the floor. As I hugged his broad chest, the suppressed longing between us spilled out.

Kwon Jungwoo pushed me forcefully. I kissed him back passionately, clinging to him, but I couldn’t keep up. I had no strength to match his. Even though I was trying to hold my ground, I kept being roughly pushed back.

Without hesitation, Kwon Jungwoo grabbed my collar and thrust his tongue into my mouth. His relentless force drove me back into the wall with a hard thud.

“Ugh…!”

Even as I groaned in pain, Kwon Jungwoo didn’t stop. He pressed me against the wall so firmly that I couldn’t even tilt my head back as he kissed me deeply. He held my jaw in place, and with his other hand, he gripped my collar roughly. Our harsh breathing mixed, but our tongues continued to entangle.

I clung to his solid forearm, slipping my hand under his shirt. Gripping his muscular skin tightly, Kwon Jungwoo loosened his hold on me. He quickly discarded his shirt and hurriedly stripped mine off as well.

The stifling, unventilated air of the room touched my bare skin. I hated the hollow feeling and wrapped my arms around his neck. As I bit down on his collarbone, Kwon Jungwoo cursed under his breath. That’s when he sank his teeth into my neck. The bite was so intense that it felt like he would tear a chunk of flesh away.

“Aah! Ahh…!”

I moaned in pain, but Kwon Jungwoo continued sucking and biting at my neck without caring. The pain was enough to guarantee bruises. His soft lips moved relentlessly from my neck to my earlobe, teasing my sensitive cartilage.

I couldn’t even tell when we moved away from the wall. Kwon Jungwoo wrapped his arms tightly around my upper body, pushing me forcefully. My own desire had peaked, so I actively clung to him, but Kwon Jungwoo’s assault was relentless and aggressive, nothing like his usual tenderness.

Just as I felt something blocking my calves, Kwon Jungwoo lifted me and threw me down backward. The soft mattress met my back, and I heard the faint sound of a spring creaking. The subpar mattress sagged.

“J-Jungwoo… take it easy…”

Unable to hold back, I pleaded, but it seemed like Kwon Jungwoo wasn’t even listening.

Without meeting my eyes, he climbed on top of me and immediately started sucking on my nipple. His red lips and tongue alternated between licking and biting the sensitive flesh, while his hair swayed with his movements. His closed eyes and furrowed brows were inexplicably sexy.

“Hmm… Ah…!”

Each time he pressed his tongue firmly against the nub, my body twisted. As if he wanted complete control, Kwon Jungwoo grabbed my ribs to stop me from moving. His grip was so strong that everywhere his fingers touched felt numb and sore.

“Take it easy, Jungwoo… Hng…!”

I pleaded again, but Kwon Jungwoo, as if to mock me, bit down hard on my chest. Then, with his hand, he quickly unbuckled my pants and yanked them off along with my underwear. My fully erect penis sprang out, pressed tightly against my abdomen.

“If you’re going to beg, don’t get turned on like this.”

Kwon Jungwoo, mocking me, suddenly flipped me onto my stomach. Then he kissed his way down my spine. Each time he bit and sucked, sharp tingles spread through my body. I could feel bruises blooming all over my skin even without looking.

The sensitive skin being sucked made my body shrink involuntarily. Kwon Jungwoo slid his hand between my legs and grabbed my penis. The hot pressure in his grip made me gasp.

“Haa… Ahh!”

“You keep imagining breaking up, but you still want to have sex?”

“J-Jungwoo. It hurts…”

“Answer me. You’re thinking of breaking up, but why is your dick hard? Huh?”

“When did I… Oof… It hurts! Jungwoo…”

“Fuck, I hate it so much, Han Jiwon.”

Kwon Jungwoo cursed harshly as he began to move his hand. The pressure was so intense it almost brought tears to my eyes. Kwon Jungwoo’s previously dry hand quickly became slick with my pre-cum.

“Hng… Wait, ugh, what did you say…?”

I wanted to confirm that what he said about hating me wasn’t true, but I was so overwhelmed by the feeling of impending climax that I couldn’t speak properly. His large hand relentlessly worked my penis. I was on the verge of coming, completely under his control.

“I said I fucking hate it.”

There wasn’t any time to feel hurt. Just as I was about to climax, Kwon Jungwoo let go of my penis and grabbed my buttocks with both hands, planting kisses along my tailbone. Then, without hesitation, he moved lower between my cheeks, and the sound of sucking echoed from an unbelievable place.

“Hng, Jungwoo! Ngh, not there, ah…!”

I was so startled that I tried to get up, but Kwon Jungwoo firmly pressed down on my back, preventing me from moving. Instead of escaping, my cheek was pushed against the bed, causing my hips to lift even higher.

Kwon Jungwoo didn’t miss the opportunity, licking my most sensitive spot with his tongue. The soft, warm sensation moved gently along with his hot breath. At the same time, I buried my face into the blanket, moaning. I was overwhelmed by a sensation I had never experienced before, unable to move at all. My back quivered, and my toes curled in response to the rising heat of arousal.

“It’s so dirty, Jungwoo… Ngh, stop… Ahh…”

Realizing I couldn’t escape, Kwon Jungwoo moved his hand from my back to my hips, spreading them apart and sliding his tongue deeper. The skin between my cheeks, now slick with saliva, felt scorching hot every time he exhaled.

While I couldn’t hold back my moans, Kwon Jungwoo continued teasing my tightly closed entrance. He firmly pressed his tongue against me, licking thoroughly, even moving to my perineum and testicles. It felt like I would die from this relentless arousal.

My shoulders were trembling uncontrollably when I suddenly felt something long and slender slide inside me. Two of his perfectly shaped fingers, wet with saliva, began to probe, moving in and out quickly, not so much to stretch me but rather to toy with me.

“Haa, ahh, Jungwoo…!”

Each time his fingers pressed against my tender insides, a squelching sound filled the air. The way my inner walls were persistently stimulated made it feel like I could reach climax just from his fingers alone.

“I’m, I’m going to, ahh, ahhh…!”

Suddenly, Kwon Jungwoo pulled his fingers out. The absence of stimulation left me frustrated, driving me to the brink of madness. My lower body trembled from the emptiness. The way my body instinctively twitched, searching for him, was foreign to me.

“Jungwoo, hng, please…”

I couldn’t bring myself to explicitly ask him to enter, so I just urged him. With my face still buried in the bed, I looked back to check on him. Kwon Jungwoo had unbuckled his pants and pulled out his erect penis. It seemed even bigger than I remembered, towering impressively.

“Ah, shit…”

Kwon Jungwoo cursed as he tried to put a condom on. The condom tore, too tight for his size. Maybe it was a combination of both the fit and the fact that we were using cheap motel supplies, but it was the first time this had happened.

With a frustrated scowl, Kwon Jungwoo grabbed the remaining condom. From the look on his face, he wasn’t expecting much better luck. Watching him irritably tear open the package, I quietly called out to him.

“Jungwoo.”

“Wait a sec. This time, I’ll put it on perfectly.”

“That’s not it, Jungwoo.”

Panting with excitement, I barely managed to sit up in front of Kwon Jungwoo. The dim room was softly illuminated by the colorful light shining in from outside. Kwon Jungwoo’s face, seated across from me on the bed, was also bathed in that same light.

I took the condom from his hand. My legs were still trembling, wet from earlier.

“You can just… go in.”

I crumpled the half-opened condom and let it fall to the floor beside the bed. Feeling embarrassed under Kwon Jungwoo’s gaze, I instinctively licked my lips.

“Anyway, you’re my first, so I don’t have any STDs…”

“……”

“I’m not sure about you… but unless it’s something serious, I’m okay with it.”

“What?”

Damn.

Kwon Jungwoo clicked his tongue in disbelief.

“You’re confusing me. I can’t tell if I should make excuses or get angry.”

“……”

“For now, to put it simply—”

Kwon Jungwoo grabbed my shoulder tightly and pushed me down again. He hooked one of my legs over his shoulder, looking down at me from above, dominating me in this awkward, twisted position.

“I’ve never done it without a condom, not even once.”

His penis, which somehow seemed even bigger than before, slid between my wet cheeks, the tip teasing my entrance.

“This is brand new.”

“Ngh, ahhh….”

His thick, heavy shaft pressed its way inside. My unprepared entrance stretched tightly around him. Without a thin layer of latex, I could vividly feel the ridges and veins along his length.

“Ah, it hurts, Jungwoo… Haah….”

“Haah…. You’re so damn hot. Feels like I’m gonna burn.”

Kwon Jungwoo pressed down on my thigh, spreading my legs wide open. Without hesitation, he thrust his entire length deep inside. I gasped from the pain, feeling like my body was being split apart.

It had been so long since I’d had sex, my insides were tight as if it was my first time. I needed more preparation, but Kwon Jungwoo started moving roughly, unlike his usual self.

“Wait, slow down… It hurts, ngh… slower…”

I clung to his wrist, pleading, but he didn’t ease up. Instead, he gripped my leg tighter, pounding into me relentlessly. The sound of our bodies slapping together mixed with the squeaking mattress, creating an obscene rhythm. My strained moans and Kwon Jungwoo’s heavy breathing made the atmosphere even thicker.

“Ahh, Jungwoo… ahh…!”

“Haah…. Don’t act like you don’t want this when you’re clearly turned on.”

“Ngh, it’s hard, slow down… please….”

“Your abs are rock hard.”

Kwon Jungwoo pressed his palm down on my stomach. Somehow, my flat stomach remained tense and didn’t sink under his pressure, even as he pushed hard.

But my body, which was angled and shaking, kept losing balance and twisting to the side. I couldn’t withstand his pressure and was helplessly pushed further up the bed. It seemed to annoy him. Finally, Kwon Jungwoo flipped me over onto my stomach and pressed me down.

“Ngh…!”

I gasped as my face was shoved into the bed again. Grabbing fistfuls of the soft blanket, I clenched it tightly.

That’s when his large hand gripped my hips firmly, and his fully erect penis pierced between my cheeks again.

“Hng, it’s too deep… ngh.”

Kwon Jungwoo kept hitting my most sensitive spots with powerful thrusts. Each time he lifted his hips, the friction between our bodies made my inner walls tighten around him. Without the condom, I could feel every detail of him, his roughness grazing my sensitive flesh. Soon enough, I started to burn from the inside as well, the heat coiling in my belly, excitement intensifying. As always, I felt the sensation of needing to relieve myself.

“Ahhh… Ngh… Ah, Jungwoo, ngh…”

“Haah, the more I think about it, the angrier I get. You suck me in so well, but what? Go back to being friends?”

“Ngh, ahhh—”

“I don’t stay friends with people I’ve slept with, Jiwon.”

Kwon Jungwoo slammed his hips hard, as if sealing the deal. The impact stung as my ass collided with his body. The intense stimulation overwhelmed me, pushing me toward my limit. That’s when my body started to send warning signs.

The tender flesh that had been expanding and contracting repeatedly suddenly began to spasm uncontrollably. From deep inside to my thighs, trembling took over, and the urge to pee surged uncontrollably.

“Wait…! Ngh, I need to… the bathroom…! Ah, Jungwoo, ahhh!”

I tried to shout in panic, but my voice was drowned by my moans, barely audible. The pleasure that had been lingering in my abdomen suddenly spread throughout my entire body. At the same time, the urge I had been desperately holding back was released. In an instant, a clear stream burst from the tip.

“Ahhh…! Nngghh!”

The stream kept flowing for a while, stopping and starting with each muscle contraction. It felt like I was being electrocuted as the spasms continued, yet even then, Kwon Jungwoo relentlessly moved inside me.

“Hah. What should we do, Han Jiwon?”

“Nnghh… ahhh…”

“You must be so embarrassed right now.”

His casual voice buzzed in my ears. My vision was still white, and the spasms left me unable to regain my senses. I wanted to escape from this overwhelming pleasure, the bedsheet beneath me dampened, but I couldn’t control my body, which filled me with fear.

Desperately, I tried to crawl forward. Stretching out my trembling arms, I managed to grasp the bedhead. At that moment, Kwon Jungwoo, almost amused, pulled his penis out of me. Even amidst the trembling, I could feel my hole twitching as it emptied. Shame made my head spin.

Barely managing to kneel in front of the bedhead, I gasped for breath, but Kwon Jungwoo caught up to me in one swift move.

“Okay, I won’t tease you. Don’t run away.”

“Hah… hahhh…”

“I didn’t know there was a ‘pee button’ in there either.”

“T-That’s not… hah… not it!”

Even though it was still humiliating, I strongly protested because I knew the sensation was different from peeing. I needed him to understand that.

Whether he understood or didn’t care, Kwon Jungwoo ignored my words and turned me toward the wall. Pressing close to me, he rubbed his still hard penis between my cheeks.

“Jiwon. Twice a day, every day.”

Without hesitation, he pushed his hot, throbbing member back into my still-quivering hole, stretching my insides once again.

“Nghh…!”

“I jerked off, thinking about your face while we were having sex.”

“Ngh, Jungwoo…”

“Because of you, haah. All I could think about was you, fuck…”

Kwon Jungwoo trapped me against the wall and began thrusting again, brutally pushing me with no escape route.

I hadn’t realized that drool had started dripping from my lips. After moaning for what seemed like ages, I finally managed to say what I wanted to.

“Hngh… Because of me… you couldn’t focus on training… I don’t want that, ngh… if that’s the case, then… I’d rather… ahhh…”

“Rather what?”

“Nnghh…”

“Rather what! Say it!”

Kwon Jungwoo urgently spun me around, pushing for an answer. The usual calmness he had was nowhere to be found as his sharp eyes glared at me, though there was something heartbreakingly fragile in his gaze.

Even though he had pulled out, the lingering pleasure inside me made my eyes well up with tears.

“If it’s because I’m bad at relationships… if you promise to wait for me, I’ll learn. I’ll come back after working on it, like taking a break for training. I’ll practice with someone else—”

“Hey, Han Jiwon.”

“Ngh…!”

Kwon Jungwoo roughly grabbed my jaw with one hand. His face was close, his expression dark and menacing as he muttered a low warning.

“If you ever say something like that again, remember this.”

“……”

“My entire basketball career is on the line with just one word from you.”

His handsome face was filled with anger. Heat radiated from him along with intense energy. The grip on my jaw stung.

I hadn’t said it because I wanted to. The thought of being with anyone else other than Kwon Jungwoo made me sick to my stomach, but I was desperate enough to say it. I wanted to learn how to love better, to make him happy.

Because, even now, I still wanted Kwon Jungwoo to—

“See? I always end up making you angry.”

“Do you really not know why I’m mad?”

Kwon Jungwoo moved closer, his face just inches from mine, waiting for an answer. His hot breath made my heart race.

Instead of responding, I tilted my head slightly and pressed my lips to his. His soft lips were tense, probably because he had clenched his teeth. Tears threatened to fall, so I closed my eyes and gently bit his lip. Like a plea to stop being angry, I softly licked and nuzzled against his lips.

When I pulled away and looked at him, Kwon Jungwoo was still staring at me. His long eyelashes fluttered slightly before his gaze returned. After a moment, he confessed in a voice filled with coldness.

“I do get jealous, you know.”

“……”

“I get jealous like a madman, not like the textbook definition you probably know.”

His dark eyes pierced right through me, unwavering as if he was baring his soul completely.

“I want to get rid of everyone around you. I want to isolate you with the ridiculous excuse of protecting you. If we can’t be the only two people left in the world, I want you to be someone only I can see. Because it fucking kills me to watch anyone else take up space in your life.”

“……”

“You don’t want to interfere with my career? Then act selfish with me. Don’t just say ‘sorry’ or try to understand me. Be greedy. Ask me stupid questions about whether I love basketball or you more. Be childish.”

“Jungwoo…”

“And seriously, fuck this ‘someone else’ talk. Don’t you dare even suggest that. Who the hell…”

Kwon Jungwoo couldn’t finish his sentence before he pulled me into a tight embrace. I could feel the strong heartbeat of the athlete against my chest. He took deep breaths, as if suppressing his emotions.

Once his breathing had steadied, Kwon Jungwoo gently scolded me, “Don’t say things like that, Jiwon.”

His hot tongue flicked against my ear. I flinched, and as if to stop me from escaping, he bit my earlobe gently. When I lowered my head in response to the tickling sensation, he grabbed my chin and kissed me deeply. Our lips parted and tongues intertwined in a passionate kiss.

Kwon Jungwoo, who I thought would never get jealous, had finally shown me his true feelings. This was the same Kwon Jungwoo who had gotten bothered by Kim Hyoseok, and despite his past relationships, his confession now felt uncharacteristic.

It seemed like Kwon Jungwoo wanted me to be jealous and possessive too, as if all the promises I made to myself when we started dating had been in vain.

Our lips parted with a wet sound. Kwon Jungwoo seemed ready to kiss me again, but I turned my head away. I didn’t want to brush this off with more skinship—I wanted to say what I needed to.

“Don’t avoid me. I’ll get hurt.”

Kwon Jungwoo stopped trying to lean in, speaking softly, as if he thought I was refusing his kiss. I quickly shook my head to dispel his misunderstanding before it deepened.

“Jungwoo, why would you even be jealous? I already love you more than you can imagine. From the moment I wake up until I go to bed, you’re all I think about. I told you before, I only have you.”

“Yeah, and you also said you regretted all the ‘firsts’ we experienced together. How can I not feel anxious when you’re constantly waiting for the day we break up?”

“It’s not like that… I’m not waiting for the breakup. It’s just that I’m really, really scared. Scared that you’ll disappear from my side. That no matter how much I look for you, I won’t be able to find you. And then I’ll just… fall apart.”

“…”

“I’m so terrified of never being able to see you again. Just thinking about it makes me so anxious I feel sick. I care about you so much. How could you keep misunderstanding that?”

I wasn’t trying to scold him, but somehow my tone came out that way. I hoped he wouldn’t think I was angry. Just as I was about to get nervous, Kwon Jungwoo seemed like he was about to say something, but I quickly shook my head again to stop him.

I didn’t want him to continue misunderstanding. As I kept talking, I realized how foolish it was to keep worrying and agonizing on my own. I had to confess the truth, even though this wasn’t how I imagined it.

“Jungwoo… I get jealous too. I remember everything you told me about your ex, even though you said she didn’t matter. I keep imagining you being affectionate with someone else. I even picture you introducing someone else as your partner. When I think about your friends asking about your girlfriend and you answering them easily, I get so jealous I can’t even eat. I’ve spent countless hours searching for time machines at the dinner table, wishing I had met you sooner. But you don’t know that, do you?”

Kwon Jungwoo frowned, asking, “What?” So I shook my head again, indicating that I wasn’t done speaking yet. I was a little dazed, maybe because the changing colors outside the window were messing with my head.

“But I hold it in. I suppress my jealousy and desire to cling to you with all my might because I’ve seen how your previous relationships ended. I don’t want to end up like that. So I’ve been holding back. And now, I’m only saying this because… I don’t know. Maybe I want you to tell me the truth too, but I’m not even sure if this is the right thing to do. To be honest, Jungwoo, I couldn’t help it. It’s not that I

to tell you all of this—I’m only saying it because you asked me to. So please don’t think it’s gross. I really can’t live without you anymore…”

After my shabby confession, silence filled the room. The only sound was the faint crackling of the neon lights outside, buzzing as they changed colors. The light flickered over Kwon Jungwoo’s face as he stared at me, making me feel even more self-conscious. I couldn’t bear to meet his gaze, so I looked away toward the corner of the room.

Though I didn’t regret confessing, the embarrassment was almost unbearable.

Kwon Jungwoo finally exhaled, and when he spoke, his voice was softer than ever.

“You’re you. You’re Han Jiwon, the person who drives me crazy. I don’t mind jealousy, but don’t compare yourself to others. The only person who’s ever made me drop everything and come running, even at the cost of missing practice, is you.”

“I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to whine like that… I just keep getting so anxious. I know it’s not normal to feel this way all the time, but it’s probably because of—”

A glimpse of my turbulent childhood suddenly crossed my mind. It was too distant now for me to feel any real emotion, but the weight of it likely still lingered in my parents’ hearts.

But I didn’t want to bring up the past as an excuse. He knew about my history anyway. So I stopped myself from finishing the sentence.

Then I felt his warm hand cover mine gently.

“Don’t overthink it. There’s no such thing as a relationship without anxiety. If you love someone, it’s natural to feel afraid. Don’t you see that I’m here with you right now?”

“…”

“It’s okay to feel anxious. It’s completely normal, so you’re fine.”

It was strange. I hadn’t felt like crying while confessing, but hearing him say it was okay to be anxious brought a lump to my throat. His words reassured me in a way that unlocked a flood of emotions.

I glanced up at Kwon Jungwoo, but quickly looked away again, feeling the tears well up. I tried to hold them back, but my vision blurred as my eyes filled.

His grip on my hand tightened slightly. His long fingers, the same ones that gripped basketballs with ease, now gently stroked the back of my hand with such care.

“I didn’t realize you cared so much about my past. I honestly thought you didn’t give it much thought…”

“…Now that I’ve admitted I was jealous, aren’t you disappointed?”

“I’m sorry, Jiwon.”

His sudden apology caught me off guard, and I looked at him in surprise. He was still staring at me, as always, his expression unreadable. Then he cradled my cheek with his familiar, fragrant hand.

“I’m sorry for not giving you the trust you needed. I’m sorry for making you feel exhausted. I thought I was the only one jealous, the only one anxious, the only one crazy about you.”

You were out there looking up time machines, and I had no idea…

His final words made me laugh unexpectedly. Tears fell from my eyes as I blinked. Trying to hide my childish tears, I lowered my head, but Kwon Jungwoo softly called my name.

“Jiwon.”

There was a warm smile in his voice.

“Look at me.”